Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jokes. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

TAKING CONTROL OF MY HEALTH~winging it

I go to see 'my' doctor about every 4-6 months. Since we have no medical insurance and in all my years of working for others I haven't had medical insurance, I've been forced to take care of myself. I found, very early on that I'm extremely sensitive to drugs and refuse all offers of them. I go to a free clinic here and usually get the nurse practitioner as my 'doctor'. I decide how much insulin I give myself. I had no teaching except the bare basics because we have no insurance. The only thing I was taught was the shot locations I was to rotate to, and why.

Since I learned about rotation, however I found out that giving shots in the belly made more of the insulin I did take available to my body. Arm and leg shots somehow are less efficient. I read that somewhere, I forget to put all the little nuggets I find in my blog, I'm trying to rectify that.
~~~
I prefer my natural solutons to druggish things. My girlfriend stays on the ADA diet, exercises like a guinea pig on a wheel she takes the Avandia type diabetic drugs and her blood glucose levels are all over the place every day; way up and way down. I'll stick with CellPower™ cellpower~natural cures,natural alternative medicine,body rescue alkalizing,most alkalizing,alkalizing drops,body ph health<br />natural healing,cell health,oxygenate,cellpower,detoxify.
~~~
Anyway I make decisions on how much insulin I give myself, by myself, I base them on a day-by-day reaction to how well something worked the days before, I used to [in my opinion, overdose myself using guidelines I yes, devised myself] but recently way slowed down on how much I give myself. I generally hold it to 15 units regardless of how high my blood glucose goes. I like to keep a regular schedule but you know how that goes, I get away from home and must eat before I get home and check my blood levels. When that happens and I finally take my readings of course it will be higher. But since I know I do well, even best with 10 units twice per day I try to keep it at that amount. When the reading is below 100 I give myself 5 units, anywhere above 125 it's 15. But since I want my body to adjust to less and less insulin, and stop being insulin resistant I am trying to give myself less and less.

Now here's where the doctor stuff comes in. They never ask me how much insulin I give myself. Now when I took care of elderly people with insulin therapy, the docs used to pour over the ledger of blood sugar readings and adjust the amounts I should give at certain levels, 'course They had insurance. For instance if the average was 200-260 they might recommend 30 units, at 180-200 maybe 25, and so on, I'm making this up so don't go by me. The language the doctor used was always iffy sounding like, "Well, let's see, why not try this and this, and this." No science behind it no hard and fast rules. Just by guess and by golly, or so it seemed to me. I took my original cue from that. Now I go by my gut. I gauge how I'm doing and how my diet is affecting the levels. I'm not suggesting anyone else follows my ways of doing things, if you have a doctor, let him/her decide for you. I am however, forced to be extremely sensitive to my own needs and to do these gauges for myself, and also I must forge into virgin territories here because officially there is no literature on this reversing process, just, yes, it can be done, but the day to day stuff is purely by winging it.

As I said I'm without much guidance in this area and I'm on my own, but I'm making good progress even though, it seems to have slowed to a crawl. I have other issues that are being resolved along with the diabetes, my candidiasis is going away, It was a multi-systemic problem that is slow to release it's hold on me.

All of my body has been healing up and yes, Diabetes itself affects the entire body's functioning; the candidiasis and IBS are related to each other and exacerbated by each other and the diabetes. With All this interrelated stuf, add to the mix the stroke damage and it seems to have affected so much. I'm just digging myself out of my personal health morass.

Weight is going too, but that also has slowed probably because it's just not the personal push it was. I am comfortable here and it really is hard to actually lose weight [pounds per week rather than pound per month]if one is past menopause. It means days/weeks of going hungry, and I gotta tell you the truth here, it is easier to fast than eat such bland small starvation portions. I also have a balancing act with my beleaguered colon, it works best if full and on starvation diets it doesn't get full enough to empy regularly. Also getting enough fiber is still an issue and on the starvation diet [well it's not really starvation, it just feels like it] I simply can't get enough fiber, no way!

I used candidate for candidiasis
when I first started out on this reversing diabetes diet. I wanted to get a jump start on the complication factors. I also take probiotics in the form of acidophilus and FLAX SEED OIL for my colon, but of course FLAX SEED OIL is also a great source of omega-3 essential fatty acids.

The biggest changes for the better hit me after I started taking CellPower™ cellpower~natural cures,natural alternative medicine,body rescue alkalizing,most alkalizing,alkalizing drops,body ph health<br />natural healing,cell health,oxygenate,cellpower,detoxify with it's cellular oxygenating power, the pH adjustment and bacterial/viral/fungal control has really CHANGED MY LIFE!

The coconut oil

I'm still using is great for cooking and for continued weight loss.

Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME


~~~~Jokes And inspirations~~~~
State Of The World Message

I've had the opportunity to evaluate the condition of the world over the course of the last 48 hours and I'm pleased to report that there are many reasons to be hopeful.

In this short amount of time I've seen a very diverse group of two-year olds build sandcastles together and I stood witness as a nineteen-year-old Japanese woman learned to ride a bicycle for the first time. I watched as the sun rose twice, set twice and became partially eclipsed by the moon. I stared into the eyes of a sea lion and saw myself in his reflection. I shared a table with a seventy-seven year old woman inTijuana who offered me cookies and Seven-Up. I witnessed a car accident on Interstate 5 and a middle-aged trucker sprinting towards the wreckage to see if he could help.

I know that there is much adversity and suffering in today's world... and sometimes I think this is the path we must take to greater wisdom. But there's a lot of love out there too... and I'm convinced that this is still the most powerful force in the world.

By Ron Atchison

~~~
THE GOOD NAPKINS...ahhhhh...the joys of having Girls...

My mother taught me to read when I was four years old (her first mistake). One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the
cabinet doors was ajar.

I read the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was
keeping 'napkins' in the bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen?

Not wanting to burden me with unnecessary facts, she told me that
those were for "special occasions" (her second mistake).

Now fast forward a few months....It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to pick up my uncle and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while they were gone.

Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, my uncle came in first and immediately burst into laughter. Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who roared with laughter.

Then came Mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" Kotex napkin at each plate, with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tail in so they didn't hang off the edge!!

My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But, Mom, you said they were for special occasions!!!"

Pass this on to your girlfriends who need a good laugh or anyone who has a daughter!

Life is too short for drama & petty things, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, Love truly and forgive quickly .

~~~
I'll be more enthusiastic about encouraging
thinking outside the box when there's evidence of any
thinking going on inside it.
-- Terry Pratchett
~~~
Gracie Allen's Classic Recipe for Roast Beef
1 large roast of beef
1 small roast of beef
Take the two roasts and put them in the oven.
When the little one burns, the big one is done.

~~~
Editor: a person employed by a newspaper, whose
business it is to separate the wheat from the
chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed.
-- Elbert Hubbard

2 is not equal to 3, not even for large values of
2.
-- Grabel's Law

I believe that all government is evil, and that
trying to improve it is largely a waste of time.
-- H. L. Mencken

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all,
you could be missing out on the joke of the
century.
-- Dame Edna Everage,
~~~
Have a great day and make this one the best by starting on your road to recovery even if you have to wing it.

Monday, September 3, 2007

WHERE I WAS, WHERE I AM, WHAT HELPS

I have a friend from when I lived close to Seattle, who is just barely a year older than I am and the last I heard she is in the hospital and she's giving up the fight.
Just last year I felt that sick, I was diabetic, and all my systems were getting compromised one after another, I was so fat there were a lot of things I needed help doing like tying my shoes and some other even more embarrassing help. I hurt so bad and felt so awful all the time, my blood sugar levels were way outta control I could barely sleep and I had no energy. I ate like the oinker I resembled. After working hard to lose weight and get fitter I've lowered my blood sugar levels to rock bottom. I'm in control of my eating, exercising, I no longer live to eat but eat to live.

My diet currently is not that exciting but it is mostly adequate, I still get hungry, to keep my weight down and hopefully lose more? But the truly exciting thing is I'm feeling so much better, I'm busily making clothes and taking in or giving away all the horribly huge things I have in my closet, See as I was so fat I quit caring what I looked like and I chose my clothing, not for style, but simply if they were big enough to hide at least some of the rolls. I can tie my shoes pretty easily now, and my feet aren't nearly as swollen, I have energy and more importantly I have my ambition back, To explain... I not only have the ability to get things done, but have the 'want to' also.

A great side effect of getting well and having a future again is that I'm just happy,
for me this is really something because a big part of my problem is that I've always struggled with deep depression. I was bi-polar also so I know the difference between the euphoria of the high part of the disease and just happy. God delivered me from the bi-polar part.

I started taking CellPower™
cellpower~natural cures,natural alternative medicine,body rescue alkalizing,most alkalizing,alkalizing drops,body ph health<br />natural healing,cell health,oxygenate,cellpower,detoxify, and my weight loss and better eating doctors got a hold of me.

Some of the things I've learned while doing this journal:

~Cinnamon really lowers the blood sugar, but you need to take a lot of it
~taking liver cleanses really help the diabetic person get control of blood glucose
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil


for the Omega-3~6 balance and losing weight
~Essential fatty acidsfor better health
~FLAX SEED OIL

I've also learned not to eat ANY MSG it puts weight on, seriously! Or any /high Fructose Corn syrup, it also makes the extra poundage gather at the waist.

Mostly though the CellPower™ has given me the power boost towards great health. It properly adjusts the body pH, fights viruses,bacteria, and fungi,helps lower blood pressure, adds enzymes to the body lost from cooking foods. It can help with:Allergies pH imbalances Emphysema Indigestion Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) Kidney infections Chronic fatigue syndrome Skin disorders Bronchial asthma Arthritis and joint pain Short-term memory loss Fibromyalgia Viral, fungal, and bacterial infections Muscle pain Candidiasis, and for me it HAS!

Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, although if you must put me down read the Whole blog first!
Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME


~~~~Jokes And inspiration~~~~
A walker noticed an old lady sitting on her front step, so he walked up
to her and said, "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look! What
is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a
nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jack
Daniels every week, and eat only junk food. On week-ends, I pop pills
and do no exercise at all."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Twenty-four," she replied.
~~~
The only reason some people get lost in thought
is because it's unfamiliar territory.
-- Paul Fix

We do what we must, and call it by the best
names.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with
which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of
their wealth.
-- Rex Stout

~~~
Junior high school students in Chicago were studying the Seven Wonders of the World. At
the end of the lesson, the students were asked to list what they considered to be the Seven
Wonders of the World. Though there was some disagreement, the following received the
most votes:

1. Egypt's Great Pyramids
2. The Taj Mahal in India
3. The Grand Canyonin Arizona
4. The Panama Canal
5. The EmpireState Building
6. St. Peter's Basilica
7. China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student, a quiet girl, hadn't turned in her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The quiet girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help."

The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are:

1. to touch...
2. to taste...
3. to see...
4. to hear... (She hesitated a little, and then added...)
5. to feel...
6. to laugh...
7. and to love.

The room was so quiet, you could have heard a pin drop.

May this story serve as a gentle reminder to all of us that the things we overlook as simple and ordinary are often the most wonderful - and we don't have to travel anywhere special to experience them.

Have a Grrreat day!

Monday, August 6, 2007

ANOTHER ADVANTAGE OF SUMMER

Today I went on a shopping trip with some friends from Church. I asked my lady-friend to go with me to check out the thrift stores but she decided she just couldn't leave her hubby at home so he drove us. I bought bags full of clothes! Some I can wear now, some will be altered to make something else. We just had to stop by a roadside stand and get some lovely fresh veggies. I think part of the CellPower™ miracle is that I'm craving fruits and veggies, not normal for me. I bought tomatoes, Anaheim peppers, Jalapeno peppers, green peppers, an eggplant and zucchinis! I could hardly wait to get home and have some.

~~~~recipe~~~

OK this is how I do it you eat it anyway you like.

I slice up the zucchinis and eggplant,
and also two Jalapenos,
a green pepper,
1/2 an onion and 2 crushed/diced cloves of garlic,
and an Anaheim pepper, I melt some coconut oil
about a tablespoon in a pan put a lid on it and heat over "low' heat. I don't call this frying, but I really do best on cooked veggies, this softens and warms them, steaming gently. I add some of my own spice mix because I refuse to use prepared mixes since I found MSG in my lemon pepper!!!!!!!!; below see my mix recipe.
Anyway I made a small hamburger patty to go with my lovely [tasty] veggies, it was delicious! I added my spice mix that I call Katy's Essence [it's based on Emeril's Essence mix, but I added more heat for great barbecue rubs!]

~~~Katy's essence~~~
I've sent this out to friends all over the US because when I make it every year I make a lot!

When I say a part I use a bottle of spice, it can be any size as long as all 'parts' are the same size.

2 1/2 parts of paprika [I love paprika anyway]
2 parts salt[I use sea salt or kosher salt]
2 parts garlic powder
1 part black pepper
1 part onion powder
1 part Cajun seasoning
1 part Italian herbs
1 part crushed red pepper
1 part chili powder
put it all in your food processor to grind up the Italian herbs and crushed red pepper so it's Incorporated well into the other spices which are powders.

I usually make a double batch to last a year, we snarf this stuff, I put it in re-marked spice bottles that the ingredients came from, I then save then as I empty then so I'll always have bottles to keep it in.

I use this especially for the grill Very Liberally covering all the meat [chicken]. It tastes so good. It's really not that hot, but you can use 1/2 part chili powder instead for a milder spice mix.

~~~
I don't really know why I put recipes in this I doubt anyone ever uses them. Too bad, I found while reversing diabetes that I got so bored with my diet that I was dying, [yes, dying] for something that tasted good, I'll never ever eat another donut or any ice cream,red meat is out for me [I just cant digest it] and all the treats /I used to love are just not happenin' again. First I've become pretty particular about the additives on finds routinely in our 'food' supply. I won't eat Genetically modified foods or sprayed foods [I wash if I don't know] something else that CellPower™ is good for. It really cleans the veggies, and I won't eat microwaved foods, processed foods were already out... It doesn't leave much. Sigh, Heavy Sigh.

For breakfast I added blueberries and real, plain yogurt, [ewe, it's really awful] my own strawberries and some pomegranate juice*, and some cherries [for the pain from getting rear-ended a few weeks ago]. I don't eat oatmeal for the taste but to reduce my cholesterol, and my blood pressure and *by the way pomegranate juice helps with that. My oatmeal isn't tasty but I get added fiber from it.

I lost lost of my ability to taste subtle flavors five years ago, I lost my ability to smell, no my sense of smell[I probably get really whiff after gardening!] just two years ago, and would love to get back the original one, now nothing smells really good. I can smell food cooking, sort of but all fragrances are nasty! All I smell is a strong chemical smell that is far from pleasant. I did get a treat the other day and got a sniff of someone Else's perfume at church and it smelled good, but not on me. All my clothes, my hair and bath soaps smell exactly the same, icky. I have absolutely no clue why this is and I've done some research on the subject. It started when I had the flu the second time in a few months [each session lasted many weeks], and I said just as I was recovering the second time, well at least I never lost my sense of smell this time, and the next day it was gone, and only a few smells have returned.

STATUS
My weight is staying the same, my blood glucose is also. in the one-teens [from 111-119 or lower]. I'm taking 10 units of insulin twice a day and seem to be doing better all the time.

I'm still taking CellPower™

AND coconut oil



for the Omega-3~6 balance and losing weight,Essential fatty acids,FLAX SEED OIL

AND
THE FOUR ESSENTIAL MINERALS FOR HEALING, of special concern for diabetics:
SELENIUM,
MAGNESIUM,
CHROMIUM,
and ZINC.




Have a great day, may you be always blessed and your wallet always full, May you find fresh pasture and cool shade. Be blessed my friends!

write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, although if you must put me down read the Whole blog first!
Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME


AND THE
~~~JOKES~~~


Before I give you the first one I want to hasten to inform you I got this from a southerner:
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM!!!

1) Go to a second-hand store, buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work boots
2) Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine

3) Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazine

4) Leave a note on your door that reads:

Hey Bubba, Big Jim, Duke and Slim,


I went for more ammunition. Back in an hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls- they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don't
think Killer took part in it but it was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of'em in the house. Better wait outside.
Cooter

~~~
I used to wake up at 4 A.M. and start sneezing,
sometimes for five hours. I tried to find out what
sort of allergy I had but finally came to the
conclusion that it must be an allergy to
consciousness.
-- James Thurber



You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very
long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his
head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand
this? And radio operates exactly the same way:
you send signals here, they receive them there.
The only difference is that there is no cat.
-- Albert Einstein, when asked to
describe radio

Today's scientists have substituted mathematics
for experiments, and they wander off through
equation after equation, and eventually build a
structure which has no relation to reality.
-- Nikola Tesla

~~~


A man goes skydiving for the first time. After listening to the instructor for what seems like days, he is ready to go. Excited, he jumps out of the airplane. After a bit, he pulls the ripcord. Nothing happens. He tries again. Still nothing.

He starts to panic, but remembers his back-up chute. He pulls that cord. Nothing happens. He frantically begins pulling both cords, but to no avail. Suddenly, he looks down and he can't believe his eyes. Another man is in the air with him, but this guy is going up! Just as the other guy passes by, the skydiver -- by this time scared out of his wits--yells, "Hey, do you know anything about skydiving?" The other guy yells back, "No! Do you know anything about gas stoves?"

~~~

STATISTICS TO PONDER
(A) The number of physicians in the U.S. is
700,000.
(B) Accidental deaths caused by Physicians
per year are
120,000.
(Calculation) Accidental deaths per physician
is
0.171
Statistics courtesy of U.S. Dept of
Health Human Services.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Now think about this:
Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S.
is
80,000,000.
(Yes, that's 80 million..)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths
per year, all age groups,
is
1,500.

(Calculation) The number of accidental deaths
per gun owner
is
.000188
Statistics courtesy of FBI
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
So, statistically, doctors are approximately
9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Remember, "Guns don't kill people, doctors do."
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN,
BUT
ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Please alert your friends
to this
alarming threat.
We must ban doctors
before this gets completely out of hand!!!!!

Ok, have a great evening.