Showing posts with label memory loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memory loss. Show all posts

Friday, April 25, 2008

IS IT THE THYROID?

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write to me at webriter@verizon.net or mark_my_bailey@yahoo.com.
***************IS IT THE THYROID?****************
If you have the following symptoms, maybe you have hypothyroidism, even if your doctor has done tests and says you don't; you might just have sub-clinical Hypothyroidism - a condition in which the body lacks sufficient thyroid hormone.
maybe what they used to call "a touch of it". Some say a full half of the people who have it are not diagnosed with it. Oh! What to do- what to do?

IS THIS YOU?
(1)
Fatigued in the morning
Poor or cracked nails
Cold all the time
Dry skin
Coarse hair/hair loss
Depression
Constipation
Muscle/joint pains
Trouble losing weight
Chronic infections
Acne
Trouble with memory
High cholesterol
Severe PMS
Irregular periods
Low sex drive
Infertility
Excessive menopause symptoms
Ovarian cysts
Endometriosis
Gum disease
Eczema
Poor stamina


The main purpose of the Thyroid is to 'run the metabolism', so you can see how important it is for it to be efficient. Two of the main causes are a prior inflammation or autoimmune thyroiditis. basically treatment is a supplementation of the thyroid hormone or just getting the body well enough to maintain its own production. Pretty much they'll want you to continue taking these drugs indefinitely, so it doesn't recur.

There is a third form of thyroiditis called silent thyroiditis, doctors like to prescribe several drugs to 'regain' health, including beta blockers, surgery or Radioactive Iodine, just imagine you can read in bed without a bedside light, you can light your own way while you explore caves or you can hire out to stand on cliffs to direct sea traffic.

I think I'd rather try getting healthy with natural methods first....some supplements for it include
*Iodine *Selenium *Zinc *Vitamin D *Vitamin E *Antioxidants
*Essential Fats *Amino Acids


I'm taking Thyromine, it has Adrenal Powder from Bovine, ginger, Guglipid, Nori, Piper Longu, Thyroid Powder From Bovine, and L-Tyrosine. You can check out the website to see what each ingredient does. It starts at $39.95 for a month's supply.
I'm also still working to get rid of the diabetes so I'm taking:
CellPower™ because for one thing it does have lots of digestive enzymes in it, also it helps to balance the pH levels and is antibiotic, anti-viral-and anti-fungal AND IT PACKS THE CELLS WITH LIFE-GIVING OXYGEN, AND ENERGY. And:SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
I also eat, one of the best fats for the Omega-3~6 balance and losing weight.
~coconut oil


And I am substantially benefiting from each and every method I recommend.
*************************************

Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings Everyone needs at least one of these for their emergency kits:
pure-go filtering water bottles
It lasts for approximately 1 year. If a person drinks 3 bottles of water per day the cost of the bottle is equals less than 3 cents per fill up.

-----THE GARDEN GNOME


~~~Jokes And inspirations/quotes~~~
EXPLANATION OF GOD

"We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young - discovering happiness in your everyday life; laughing and finding humor each day; giving of yourself to others - so that way goodness may magically comes back to us; and DREAMING - for when you lose your dreams, you die."
"We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability.
The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets."
~~~
“We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.”
~~~
"Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."
~~~
Funny Fluke
My dentistry patients are called and reminded the day before their scheduled appointments. During an office visit, one man was in an especially good humor and explained why. "My staff kids me about the high opinion I have of myself," he said. "Yesterday your receptionist left a message that had them in stitches."
He related the memo his secretary had handed him: "Your crown is ready."
~~~
Zip It!
My mother taught for 11 years at a day-care center. One winter afternoon she was trying to show a young boy how to zip up his coat. "The secret," Mom said, "is to get this piece of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up."
After struggling with the zipper for several minutes, the boy sighed and said, "Why does it have to be a secret?"
-- -
...With Some Wit on the Side
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
~~~
All Aboard!
In the 22-story office building where I worked, rush hours meant crowds of people waiting a long time for the three passenger elevators. One evening my boss was one of the throng relegated to the freight elevator.
When a fellow rider complained about having to take this mode of transportation, my boss replied philosophically, "Better freight than never!"
~~~
Comic Calling
My younger brother, I explained to a friend, had quite a temper as a boy. Our parents had tried extra love, attention and patience on him, with little success. Then, in the middle of one of his tantrums, they simply handed him a shovel, pointed to the backyard and instructed him to go out and dig and not come back until he had control of his anger.
"Apparently," I said, "the therapy worked, because he's turned out very nicely."
"What does he do for a living?" my friend asked.
"He builds in-ground swimming pools."
~~~
Sew in Stitches
Shortly after graduating from veterinary school, I rode with my mother in the Michigan Trail Riders' annual trek across state. Late one afternoon, I was summoned to look at a horse that had reared up and flipped over in his trailer. Fortunately the horse was not seriously injured, but some lacerations needed stitching.
As I worked, I heard my mother chatting with the perturbed owner. "Don't worry, sir," she said. "My daughter's a great vet. She'll fix your horse up just fine."
"That's good to hear," said the man. "How long has she been a vet?"
"A week," replied my mother, proudly. Then hastily she added, "But she's been embroidering since she was eight years old."
-- -
Down Under Droll
While I was working at a delicatessen in Sydney, Australia, a woman overheard my accent and asked if I was American. "Lovely!" she exclaimed when I told her that I was. "I've been looking for one of your lot. My son is living in the States with his American wife, and she sent me a recipe that calls for half-and-half. Could you tell me, luv, half of wot and half of wot?"
-- -



~~~
This morning, from a cave somewhere in Pakistan, Taliban Minister of Migration Mohammed Omar warned the United States and Canada that if military action against Iraq continues, Taliban authorities will cut off America's and Canada's supply of convenience store managers.

And if this action does not yield sufficient results, cab drivers will be next, followed by Bell and Sprint customer service reps
~~~
Every man needs a wife, because things sometimes go wrong that you can't blame on the government.
~~~
BILL GATES BUYS A HOUSE

Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."

Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"

Bill: "Uh, yeah... the first issue is the living room. We think its a little smaller than we anticipated."

Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."

Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."

Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."

Bill: "Stacker?"

Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch... the chairs on the table... etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh... I dunno... issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The threads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill: "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round, not rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: " Well... I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guests over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."
Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."
Bill: "And how do I fix that?"
Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."
Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"
Contractor: "Hey, nobody's making you buy it."
Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"
Contractor: "Oh, in your next house -- which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. It was due out this year, but we've had some delays..."
~~~

Country Preacher
An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession.
Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it.
One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided to try an experiment.
He went into the boy's room and placed on his study table four objects:
a Bible,
a silver dollar,
a bottle of whisky
and a Playboy magazine
'I'll just hide behind the door,' the old preacher said to himself, 'when he comes home from school this afternoon,
I'll see which object he picks up.
If it's the Bible, he's going to be a preacher like me and what a blessing that would be! If he picks up the dollar, he's going to be a businessman, and that would be okay, too. But if he picks up the bottle, he's going to be a no-good drunkard,and, Lord, what a shame that would be, and worst of all, if he picks up that magazine he's gonna be a skirt-chasin' bum.'
The old man waited anxiously, and soon heard his son's footsteps as he entered the house whistling and headed for his room.
The boy tossed his books on the bed, and as he turned to leave the room he spotted the objects on the table.
With curiosity in his eye, he walked over to inspect them.
Finally, he picked up the Bible and placed it under his arm.
He picked up the silver dollar and dropped it into his pocket.
He uncorked the bottle and took a big drink while he admired this month's Centerfold.
'Lord have mercy,' the old preacher disgustedly whispered, 'He's gonna run for Congress.''
~~~
May you be blessed with abundant energy, stamina and ambition, not just the ability to do things but the "want to" too.
~~~
SOURCES
http://thyroid.ultrawellness.com/broken.php
http://www.endocrineweb.com/hypo1.html
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hypothyroidism/DS00353
http://thyroid.about.com/od/alternativeholisticinfo/Alternative_Holistic_and_Complementary_Thyroid_Diagnosis_Treatment.htm

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Articles for health

Dr. William Rea’s Letter to His Patients
This letter is being sent to you so that we may provide information about a
potential serious potential threat to your choice of medical care. To put it bluntly,
there is currently an organized nation-wide effort to destroy the specialty of
Environmental Medicine and to eliminate from practice physicians who diagnose
and treat patients suffering from chemical sensitivities. see more...
health freedom USA


Tell Your Congressmen and Women to Co Sponsor the Health Freedom Protection Act, H.R. 2117- Ron Paul

The FDA is on a rampage against dietary supplements. Preventing reasonable and factual health claims, the FDA is using its immense power to fuel the pharmaceutical profit picture at the expense of the lives and health of hundreds of thousands of Americans each year. The rights of Americans to learn about natural products through truthful, science-based health claims is routinely stifled to the detriment of health and health freedom in the United States.
health freedom USA


memory loss due to high blood sugar
We all have times when our blood sugar jumps up. A meal with lots of refined carbs and a dessert can do it to the healthiest eaters. But chronically high blood sugar is extremely dangerous. Not only can it lead to diabetes; it can also cause you to lose your memory.
A recent four-year study of older women found that when their blood sugar was chronically high - even if they weren't diabetic - they had an increased risk for impaired memory. This could be due to either direct or indirect brain damage caused by high blood sugar. Or it could mean that there's an association between the enzyme that breaks down insulin and the development of Alzheimer's disease. There are a number of possibilities, all of which researchers are studying rigorously.
Women's Health Alert
Yaffe, K, MD, et al, Journal of Nutrition, Health, and Aging, Vol 10, No 4, 2007.
Women's health letter.com


OMAHA, Neb.–ConAgra Foods Inc., the largest microwave popcorn maker in the United States, will change the recipe for its Orville Redenbacher and Act II brands over the next year to remove a flavouring chemical linked to a lung ailment in popcorn plant workers, the company said yesterday.
The announcement comes a day after a doctor at a leading lung research hospital warned in a letter to federal regulators that consumers, not just factory workers, may be in danger from fumes from buttery flavouring in microwave popcorn.
diacetyl


Dangers of chlorine
If you are not convinced about the dangers of chlorine in your tap water, here's an extract from: Dr Z Rona MD MSc "Most people never give it a thought. After all, our elected public officials keep assuring us that chlorinated city tap water is completely safe for human consumption. Numerous scientific studies report that chlorinated tap water is a skin irritant and can be associated with rashes like eczema. Chlorinated water can destroy polyunsaturated fatty acids and vitamin E in the body while generating toxins capable of free radical damage (oxidation). This might explain why supplementation of the diet with essential fatty acids like flax seed oil, evening primrose oil, borage oil and antioxidants like vitamin E, selenium and others helps so many cases of eczema and dry skin.
dangers of Chlorine


Good News!
CellPower™ WILL HELP TO:
*Boost Immune System Response
*CellPower™ kills infectious bacteria and viruses, fungi, mold, and parasites. It
*boost T-cell numbers and activity.
*does not harm the beneficial flora and microorganisms needed by the body.
*Speeds Healing Inside and Out
*rapidly absorbed by the body through the mucous linings of the mouth, throat and esophagus.
*naturally alter dangerous acidic pH to normal alkaline levels
*boost athletic performance by oxygenating at the cellular level.
*CellPower™ can be used topically when diluted 1 part CellPower to 10 parts distilled water. It has been used successfully for skin rashes, acne, sunburns, cold sores, minor cuts and bruises.
It works for:Allergies,pH imbalances,Emphysema,Indigestion,Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease(COPD),Kidney infections,Chronic fatigue syndrome,Skin disorders
Bronchial asthma,Arthritis and joint pain,Short-term memory loss,Fibromyalgia
Viral, fungal, and bacterial infections,Muscle pain,Candidiasis


I also use:coconut oil

is great for cooking and for continued weight loss. I really notice the difference in my weight control when I'm out of it for a while.
AND:
FLAX SEED OIL for my colon, but of course FLAX SEED OIL is also a great source of omega-3 essential fatty acids.

Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME


~~~~Jokes And inspirations~~~~
Little Things


As you might know, the head of a company survived 9/11 because his son started kindergarten.

Another fellow was alive because it was His turn to bring donuts.

One woman was late because her Alarm clock didn't go off in time.

One was late because of being stuck on the NJ Turnpike
Because of an auto accident.

One of them Missed his bus.

One spilled food on her clothes and had to take Time to change.

One's Car wouldn't start.

One went back to Answer the telephone.

One had a Child that dawdled And didn't get ready as soon as he should have.

One couldn't Get a taxi.

The one that struck me was the man
Who put on a new pair of shoes that morning,
Took the various means to get to work
But before he got there, he developed
a blister on his foot.

He stopped at a drugstore to buy a Band-Aid. That is why he is alive today.


Now when I am
Stuck in traffic,
Miss an elevator,
Turn back to answer a ringing telephone ...
All the little things that annoy me.
I think to myself,
This is exactly where God wants me to be
At this very moment..

Next time your morning seems to be
Going wrong ,

The children are slow getting dressed, You can't seem to find the car keys,
You hit every traffic light, Don't get mad or frustrated;
It may be just that God is at work watching over you.
~~~
Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?

Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"...but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?

Why are you IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?

~~~
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things.

He immediately phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?" and George said no and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available.

George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all."

Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the policemen said to George: "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"

~~~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."
~~~


ONE DAY A MAN NAMED BOB KNOCKED ON HIS NEIGHBOR'S DOOR. HIS NEIGHBOR WHO WAS AN OLD LADY WHO ASKED WHAT THE MATTER WAS. THE MAN REPLIED "I AM SO SORRY BUT I JUST RAN OVER YOUR CAT AND KILLED IT" THE MAN SAID "BUT I WOULD LIKE TO REPLACE IT." THE OLD LADY THEN SAID "WELL I HOPE YOUR GOOD AT CATCHING MICE THEN"!!!
~~~
A cab driver picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her.

She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you".

She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull off to the side of the road, "maybe we will see what we can do."

The nun plants a whopper of a kiss on the cabbie! But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?"
"Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."
~~~
A daring vacationer in Vienna is walking through a graveyard on Halloween when all of a sudden she hears music. No one is around, so she starts looking to see where it’s coming from.

She finally locates the source and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads, “Ludwig van Beethoven.”

Then she realizes that the music is the Ninth Symphony and it is being played backward. Puzzled, she leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with her.

By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but it is also being played backward.

Curious, the ladies agree to consult a music scholar. When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing and the expert concludes that the symphonies are in fact being played in reverse order.

By the next day the word spread and a huge group gathered around the grave to hear the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker approaches the group. Someone in the crowd asks him if he has an explanation for the music.

"Oh, it's nothing to to worry about" says the caretaker. "He's just decomposing!!"

~~~
Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than
not having any opinions at all.
-- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

No human thing is of serious importance.
-- Plato

A neurosis is a secret that you don't know you
are keeping.
-- Kenneth Tynan

A liberal is a person whose interests aren't at
stake at the moment.
-- Willis Player

~~~

Saturday, July 14, 2007

IMMUNE SYSTEM BOOSTER

I've studied Alternative Medicine for 40 years almost, ever since I became dissolusioned with traditional medicine. I've searched, in that time for a product that will restore my health to where I could have been before I had a massive stroke and my gall bladder removed at age 20 due to well, a series of unfortunate events at hospitals and clinics. I now have an immune system dis-ease by the name of Diabetes, also Candidiasis, Fibromyalgia, IBS, and an infiltrated liver that just works so hard to keep my body clean and is so not doing it.

However: I'm using :CellPower™
and these conditions are just fading away. How can it work on so many things? Well first it adjusts the pH, and as we've discussed; an alkaline body is a healthy body and a healthy body is able to keep itself healthy because we have awesome recuperative powers. It also kills infectious bacteria and viruses, fungi, mold, and parasites. It has been shown to boost T-cell numbers and activity. It does not harm the beneficial flora and microorganisms needed by the body. How? Because it has colloidal minerals with those properties. See here for list of ingredients

Not only is the diabetes, candida, and FM going away, but I'm sleeping better, my teeth and gums are healthier [the teeth sparkle they are so clean], I'm regrowing the hair I lost from my diabetes being out of control for so long and since cellpower also works topically my face has cleared up, no more cold sores, no more canker sores, blemishes, allergy rashes! In fact it will help with all of these:

Allergies pH imbalances Emphysema Indigestion Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD) Kidney infections Chronic fatigue syndrome Skin disorders Bronchial asthma Arthritis and joint pain Short-term memory loss Fibromyalgia Viral, fungal, and bacterial infections Muscle pain Candidiasis


Since it is working so well for me I can't keep it to myself I just have to share the great news.

HEY, DON'T BELIEVE ME, SEE THESE TESTIMONIES JUST AS THEY WERE SENT TO THE CELLPOWER DISTRIBUTER here

CellPower™
I
keep as many alkalizing foods in my diet as I can, and For weight control, lowering Cholesterol, and balancing the Omega -3's and Omega-6 intake I'm still taking a tablespoon of For weight loss I'm still takingcoconut oil


~~~Jokes quotes~~~

On the plus side, death is one of the few things
that can be done just as easily lying down.
-- Woody Allen

I tend to live in the past because most of my
life is there.
-- Herb Caen

A person is always startled when he hears himself
seriously called an old man for the first time.
-- Oliver
~~~
Top 10 Old Folks' Party Games

10. Musical Recliners
9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
8. Hide and Go Pee
7. Simon Says Something Incoherent
6. Doc, Doc Goose
5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over
4. Kick the Bucket
3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy
1. Sag, You're It!

The Love of Sharing Equally

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn't have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, "Oh no. We've been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50." The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, "Not yet. It's his turn with the teeth."

These epitaphs are allegedly taken from actual tombstones
I know you are dying to read them :o)

On the grave of Ezekiel Aikle in East Dalhousie Cemetery, Nova Scotia:
Here lies Ezekial Aikle Age 102: The Good Die Young.

In a London, England cemetery:
Ann Mann: Here lies Ann Mann, Who lived an old maid But died an old Mann. Dec. 8, 1767

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:
Anna Wallace: The children of Israel wanted bread. And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife, And the Devil sent him Anna.

Playing with names in a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:
Here lies Johnny Yeast, Pardon me For not rising.

Memory of an accident in a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:
Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake: Stepped on the gas Instead of the brake.

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:
Here lays Butch. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger, But slow on the draw.

A widow wrote this epitaph in a Vermont cemetery:
Sacred to the memory of my husband John Barnes who died January 3, 1803.
His comely young widow, aged 23, has many qualifications of a good wife, and yearns to be comforted.

A lawyer's epitaph in England:
Sir John Strange: Here lies an honest lawyer, And that is Strange.

Someone determined to be anonymous in Stowe, Vermont:
I was somebody. Who, is no business Of yours.

Lester Moore was a Wells, Fargo Co. station agent for Naco, Arizona in the cowboy days of the 1880's.
He's buried in the Boot Hill Cemetery in Tombstone, Arizona:
Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a .44. No Les No More.

In a Georgia cemetery:
"I told you I was sick!"

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art in want of any. Dig 4 feet deep, and thou wilt find a Penny.

On Margaret Daniels grave at Hollywood Cemetery, Richmond, Virginia:
She always said her feet were killing her but nobody believed her.

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:
On the 22nd of June - Jonathan Fiddle - Went out of tune.

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont, has an epitaph that sounds like something from a Three Stooges movie:
Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low.
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

More fun with names with Owen Moore in Battersea, London, England:
Gone away Owin' more than he could pay.

Someone in Winslow, Maine, didn't like Mr. Wood:
In Memory of Beza Wood Departed this life Nov. 2, 1837 Aged 45 yrs.
Here lies one Wood enclosed in wood, One Wood Within another.
The outer wood Is very good: We cannot praise The other.

On a grave from the 1880's in Nantucket, Massachusetts:
Under the sod and under the trees Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod: Pease shelled out and went to God.

The grave of Ellen Shannon in Girard, Pennsylvania, is almost a consumer tip:

Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R.E. Danforth's Non-Explosive Burning Fluid"

Oops! Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York: Born 1903--Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down. It was.

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:
Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.

And on that note I’ll be saying good by, Have a great day, may you live long and prosper! May you find fresh pasture and cool shade. Be blessed my friends!
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-----THE GARDEN GNOME