Thursday, November 22, 2007


Ok, so it’s not that serious but still. I woke up Saturday with a dry throat, no biggie, it’s nothing to worry about, I went about my normal routine, took my blood sugar, opened the drapes, talked to God, ate my apple for breakfast, worried just a little about that 6 pounds that have crept back since I started this diet. Before I got down to that weight years ago [you thought I was going to tell you how much I weigh, yeah, like That’s gonna happen] It was when I’d plateau-ed years before I got married, before I’d moved to Oregon from Seattle and WHY I’d joined a gym. The GYM? Yup that lasted until my guest cards ran out and reality set in; I had to go alone. Not only that but I was the fattest one there. Well maybe not the fattest but the combination of oldest/fattest/shortest. So, I did what any respectable middle-aged short fat woman would do, I quit going.

Ok that established, back to my cold. By mid-afternoon, my throat was definitely sore and snot was coming in 50 gallon drums. The weather has been cold and rainy, lovely. So, I’m sick and I have so much to do, it’s raining out and I still haven’t finished my fall garden work. I CAN’T BE SICK! I gotta do something. So, what did I do? Well er, nothing. I took my supplements like normal, ate my nearly no-carb diet and ignored the cold, like it’d just go away. I received an extra job, my bamboo arrived, I’d HAVE to take care of it Manana.

The next day I was really sick; head ballooned out with built up snot, ears, sinuses, nose, throat, cranium cavity-lots of extra space up there- and I had a headache, didn’t feel like eating so didn’t. Later we took a trip to our local and favorite pharmacy see: rite aid, to buy some of that occisillam or whatever it is, but the label assured me it cured all the wrong symptoms so I checked out the vi-????. It had stuff in it I can’t have so as I mentioned in another entry I tried the vitamin C cure. It had worked for me before but this time in my arrogance I decided to wait a day. Well after the vitamin C had its way with my innards, oh let’s just say there was some pain and throne sitting involved, I felt a bit better. This whole time I’ve been wearing my warmies, now there is absolutely nothing in this world I hate more than sweating and OH LUCKY ME, I’ve been hot flashing back-to-back for 24 years.

I was still coughing and I had trouble getting any sleep and the snot was still very much in evidence, and my throat was dry; our weather was wet but it was so dry inside, I started keeping a thermos of iced water close. I was cooking with sweated [that means very, very gently cooked], onions and garlics, lots and lots of them and I’ve been drinking green tea, with lemon and honey. All of the aforementioned things are antibacterial. I also taking a handful of vitamin C each day, and was gargling with my normal dosage of CellPower™ I take three times a day so my throat was ever so much better, no soreness, and with the use of boiling water on our stove, the dryness was not so pronounced either.

Yesterday, Tuesday, it was raining, I woke up feeling punk, no energy, too tired to move around but too rested to sleep, I couldn’t do anything, so I didn’t.

Today is Wednesday, I woke up feeling energetic, and not such a coldish-type o’ gal. I went out to the garage to get the load of bamboo I was given put up so we could park our car in there. What? You don’t park your car in your garage? Well we don’t either, but we’re suspecting that Thanksgiving would be a sneaky time to dump a load of snow on us.

I just got a friend’s entire crop of Arundo Donax- not the highest quality bamboo but still- and it made a huge leafy pile in the center of my garage. I have to peel all the leaves off, Sort and top them. I got about half done, That was a full 5 hours of hard work in a cold wet garage, Did I mention our weather has been rainy for days? Well it has. After working until after dark I still felt pretty good; But then I’ve eaten the equivalent of 10,000 oranges, 60 lemons, 40 onions, 32 garlic bulbs about two gallons of CellPower™ water, sweated for three days like a Stevedore, and had a complete bowel cleanse. I should be feeling better. I’m sore from my muscles being worked in the cold and damp- It was raining- but I feel pretty good. Now if I could only tell if I am having a hot flash or if I am febrile [running a fever]. I don’t own a thermometer. My reasons for this are

First, and apparently this salient point is oft overlooked, a thermometer is a DIAGNOSTIC tool, it is not in any way therapeutic, yet it’s the very first thing people reach for. Like checking the crankcase oil, when your tranny is out, GET REAL, no matter what your temperature is, if you feel sick you probably are. Taking the temperature tells you NOTHING. And it doesn’t help.

Here’s a little tidbit, 98.6 is an average, we are all different, my NORMAL temperature is between 99-100. Does it help me to know if my current temp is 99 or 99.5? My hand is up, I’ll answer that one, NO!

If I am warm to the touch I’m running a fever, if not I probably am not running one. If I am running a fever it tells us what? That I am sick, Maybe. Or that I’ve been exercising-fat chance on that, or my clothing is too warm for the weather, probably not. So, we’ve established sickness.

I also have a theory I explained to the dentist who pulled my tooth. I said I do not believe in Pain, I use no pain, NO PAIN as my motto, I believe that pain is counter therapeutic, and my goal is to get well. He looked at me like I was serious, first time THAT has ever happened, well when you are only two inches taller than a certified elf -altho’ it might be nice to be certified- no one takes one seriously and he respected my wishes, he caused me no pain and hustled me out with a prescription for some pain reliever I threw away. I never did hurt from it, it healed nicely and I was back to work that afternoon.

Oh and that 6 pounds I was worrying about, I lost it somewhere, not that I’m looking for it, but for a little minute I considered its possible location, then I remembered. And I’m not wanting to find it neither!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my husband was worried I wouldn’t get out turkey thawed in time, so he bought two frozen one and what the store cutely calls a ‘fresh’ one. Now what it really means is that it WAS frozen but they thawed it out maybe two weeks ago and it’s been sitting in the meat case for that fortnight with a label of *FRESH* on it. Steve and I have been married for nearly 8 years and I’ve yet to serve him a frozen turkey, but this year he was worried, so we now have a plethora of fowl.

I'm still taking
,to help get rid of the candidiasis.

Also CellPower™ another antibiotic,
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil a great fungus killer too

Which incidentally is another fungi-cide and energy booster.

Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies


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~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~

You will find that the State is the kind of
organization which, though it does big things badly,
does small things badly, too.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith

The best way to predict the future is to invent
-- Alan Kay

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in
advance, you only have to assume that they will
always try to escape a disagreeable situation with
the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

If men could only know each other, they would
neither idolize nor hate.
-- Elbert Hubbard

Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling
you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming,
I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with
homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no
matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the
desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated
with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make.
Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them
track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china,
or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and
everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from
using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last
Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and
flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like
decoration handcrafted from the finest construction
paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while
you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have
made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please
remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon
discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of
tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a
recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously
like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the
start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method.
We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke
alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In
the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate
table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at
our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private
ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances,
enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children
to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed.
It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat. I
would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that
"passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean
your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for
the adults: For the
duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young
diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser known name:
Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type
of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between
12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional
pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will
still have a choice; take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be
dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful.
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied

Happy Thanksgiving or whatever Harvest festival you are celebrating to all world wide. May your plates never be empty and your hearts always be full

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an
afternoon high near F 190. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if
you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will
slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches
on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry
sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy. A
weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire
area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the
evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping
to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches
will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days
with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect
a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating
pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving.

Y'va-reh'ha Adonai v'uish-m'reha.
Ya-eyr Adonai panav eyle-ha vihu-neka.
Yoda Adonai panav eyle-ha v'ya-seym l'shalom
The L-rd Bless you and Keep you,
The L-rd make His face shine upon you.
The L-rd lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace

Be blessed this day as you consume your personal requisite 3,000 calories, enough to feed a whole vilage for a month in a Third World country. Remember to practice hospitality, even to your crazy Uncle who tells all the dirty jokes and your Aunt Helen who giggles and jiggles. Enjoy and repent the next day.


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