How to buy diabetes and heart disease in a bottle/soft drinks, not so soft

(1)

It doesn't matter if you take it with sugar or artificial sweeteners. Either way, drinking one or more per day increases your risk for metabolic syndrome - or pre-diabetes - by nearly 50%. And now we're finding that just 12 ounces a day can put you at a greater risk for heart disease.
I'm talking about soft drinks. These beverages are so popular, they accompany most fast foods. And they've become accepted drinks at all meals. They're drunk instead of water with lunch and dinner. And in some parts of the country, people even drink them instead of a morning cup of coffee.
A recent study followed more than 6,000 middle-aged men and women for four years. All of them started out without any metabolic problems. Those who drank one or more soft drinks a day had the highest risk. They had a 48% higher prevalence of becoming pre-diabetic than participants who drank less than one a day.
The researchers don't know why soft drinks increase the risk for pre-diabetes, since diet drinks were as much of a problem as those made with sugar. One possibility is the brown caramel used in colas. This coloring has been linked to inflammation and tissue damage. And inflammation is an underlying cause of metabolic syndrome.
Some believe that by drinking sweet drinks throughout the day it encourages a sweet tooth. And that, in turn, creates a craving for more foods high in refined sugars and starches.
The lead author of this study also conducted another study that found more heart disease among people who drank colas. Why? Because of the drinks' high phosphorous (phosphoric acid) content. Phosphorous can interfere with the body's production of vitamin D. This lack of vitamin D can decrease heart function and increase calcification in the heart's arteries. Excessive phosphorous can also lead to high blood pressure and heart disease.
If you've been drinking soft drinks every day, especially colas, today would be a good day to stop. You can find thirst-quenching drinks made entirely from fruit juices and sparkling water in all health food stores and many supermarkets. Or make your own. Better yet, drink more water.

then there is the sodium benzoate in he soft drinks
(2)

Caution: Some soft drinks may seriously harm your health
Expert links additive to cell damage
A new health scare erupted over soft drinks last night amid evidence they may cause serious cell damage. Research from a British university suggests a common preservative found in drinks such as Fanta and Pepsi Max has the ability to switch off vital parts of DNA.
The problem - more usually associated with ageing and alcohol abuse - can eventually lead to cirrhosis of the liver and degenerative diseases such as Parkinson's.
The findings could have serious consequences for the hundreds of millions of people worldwide who consume fizzy drinks. They will also intensify the controversy about food additives, which have been linked to hyperactivity in children.
Concerns centre on the safety of E211, known as sodium benzoate, a preservative used for decades by the £74bn global carbonated drinks industry. Sodium benzoate derives from benzoic acid. It occurs naturally in berries, but is used in large quantities to prevent mould in soft drinks such as Sprite, Oasis and Dr Pepper. It is also added to pickles and sauces.
Sodium benzoate has already been the subject of concern about cancer because when mixed with the additive vitamin C in soft drinks, it causes benzene, a carcinogenic substance. A Food Standards Agency survey of benzene in drinks last year found high levels in four brands which were removed from sale.

I urge you to read more on the sites I've listed below.

Sure, you can troll the Internet and see lots of experts whose hands are firmly in the pockets of the big businesses that insist that it's not harmful, but the mere whiff of suspicion is enough to keep me from soda.

Well that's it. I quit drinking soda a three decades ago, I guess it might have been good that I did.

I am very regular taking my CellPower™ and
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
\*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
Man is the only animal that laughs and has a
state legislature.
-- Samuel Butler

We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to
be like other people.
-- Arthur Schopenhauer

I take my children everywhere, but they always
find their way back home.
-- Robert Orben

Only exceptionally rational men can afford to be
absurd.
-- Allan Goldfein

~~~
These are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are these funny!!!

1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a "full six-pack" but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.


These 16 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country:

16 "You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through."
15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while."
14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you."
11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?"
10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
4 "How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?"
3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
2 "I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

~~~
Computer Haikus – Part 2

Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao-until
You bring fresh toner.

Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.

~~~
I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions --
but I don't always agree with them.
-- George Bush

Nothing fixes a thing so intensely in the memory
as the wish to forget it.
-- Michel de Montaigne

I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves
me the trouble of liking them.
-- Jane Austen

A thought is often original, though you have
uttered it a hundred times.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes,

~~~
The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls
out of your glass.
-- Martin Mull

If man does find the solution for world peace it
will be the most revolutionary reversal of his
record we have ever known.
-- George C. Marshall

The only thing that scares me more than space
aliens is the idea that there aren't any space
aliens. We can't be the best that creation has to
offer. I pray we're not all there is. If so, we're in
big trouble.
-- Ellen DeGeneres

We Americans live in a nation where the
medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless
you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball
countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in
seconds if we felt like it.
-- Dave Barry

*****************************************************************
That's it for today, God Bless you all and may peace attend you, May Goodness and Mercy follow you all the days of your life.

SOURCES
(1)http://www.womenshealthletter.com/alert-detail.php?ha_id=142&searchText=soft%20drinks
(2)http://news.independent.co.uk/health/article2586652.ece

HEALING WITHOUT ANY OUTSIDE AGENTS.

"A cheerful heart is good medicine." - King Solomon (Proverbs 17:22)

(1)

King Solomon gave us one of the earliest recorded accounts regarding the healing power of humor and laughter. In the 1300's, surgeon Henri de Mondeville reportedly told jokes to his patients in the recovery room. In the 1600's, educator Richard Mulcater recommended laughter for those suffering from head colds.

Throughout the centuries court jesters have been hired to relieve the royalty's stress from governmental duties. Perhaps the most insightful recording of the benefits of laughter and humor healing came from Dr. Norman Cousins in his book, Anatomy of an Illness as Perceived by the Patient.

Laughter And Humor Can And Does Enhance Our Overall Well-Being

In 1964 Dr. Cousins was diagnosed with a crippling and extremely painful inflammation of his body. With his physician's assistance, he checked out of the hospital and into a hotel to utilize as many natural resources as possible to treat his condition. His experience became a controlled study in pain management and overall healing.

Dr. Cousins had a strong will to live and knew if he focused on love and faith, he could generate positive emotions. He decided to experiment with laughter to create a positive factor in altering his body chemistry to be in a healing mode. Dr. Cousins systematically watched Candid Camera classics, Marx Brother films, and read books like E.B. and Katharine White's Subtreasury of American Humor and Max Eastman's The Enjoyment of Laughter. He later wrote, "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep." He recovered from this condition and spent the next 20 years teaching about the merits of laughter and humor in healing.

Experts now agree, Laughter:
-Is good for you
-Boosts your immune system
-Can be shared
-Relieves tension
-Benefits the mind, body and spirit
-Is free!

"Me, Funny?"

OK, let's go with that to start. It's a proven fact that a person can completely heal themselves with humor, they can sit down to a plate full of sitcoms and get up healed of the worst diseases. Also habitual smilers have sweeter kinds of wrinkles. It doesn't take a portrait of Dorian Grey to see that our lives are writ upon our countenances. Look at the Rolling Stones, I rest my case.

I have a couple of well; amusing stories I want you to read, you will be tested on this so don't try wiggling out of it. This is an experiment so just see if it helps you.

"The Duck that Flew before it Hatched"
AND
Part II~Time in the Well etc

But if humor cures are there other ways to get well with any outside agents? Yes!

We can implant positive feelings and outcomes in our minds to effect healing. Personally when I'm out I have a short mantra I repeat, I say to myself, over and over, "I'm Healthy and beautiful". Hey, why not, it is good to balance one word with a complimentary word, and it reminds me to suck in my stomach [good for the abs, Bunky] and when I smile I get postive return from others around me, it reinforces my own feelings of well-being. Why not try it for one day. What have you got to lose? I'm not asking you for anything that costs anything whatsoever to do. And you might lose that cranky look you've been carrying on your old old mug. Or don't your choice, Hee is someone else's thoughts on this subject:

(2)

Holistic approaches to health have been tapping into the brain's control over every cell for centuries in a way that supports the brain=behavior line of thinking, external behavior controlled by the brain influencing internal behavior. The common name for such a tapped resource is called imaging or visualization, and is most helpful in cancer patients. More and more studies, such as the work going on at the Mind Science Foundation in San Antonio, Texas, are proving that using such a technique, in conjunction with other treatments, works by "boosting the body's natural immunity and actually increasing the activity of natural killer (NK) cells, which then attack tumors". Studies are proving people can actually send hormones or chemicals to respond to the problem area by just "thinking them up," signaling the nervous system and the organs/immune system in the body necessary to the defense to either respond or work harder. Of course, in most cases, medical course of action on the disease is necessary to truly fight off the cancer or illness, a healthy dose of positive imagery directed to output in a system response has been proven on numerous studies to aid in the healing process. This is the most often heard of use of positive thinking and the one that I have had second hand experience with, a friend of mine battling cancer and winning for longer than expected. A prolonged and better quality life is actually possible if you will it enough to force the brain to be stimulated with the thought and begin the necessary action potentials that send the messages to the immune and endocrine system. By the autonomic capabilities of the brain it does not take much conscious effort to produce the desired healing output, it is an unconscious process.

Then there's prayer, and it has been shown to really make a difference in the outcomes of many people's healing, another try it it's free kind of things. Reported in The Washington Post:

(3)

Many studies done over the years indicate that the devout tend to be healthier. But the reasons remain far from clear. Healthy people may be more likely to join churches. The pious may lead more wholesome lifestyles. Churches, synagogues and mosques may help people take better care of themselves. The quiet meditation and incantations of praying, or the comfort of being prayed for, appears to lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, slow the heart rate and have other potentially beneficial effects.
But the most controversial research focuses on "intercessory" or "distant" prayer, which involves people trying to heal others through their intentions, thoughts or prayers, sometimes without the recipients knowing it. The federal government has spent $2.2 million in the past five years on studies of distant healing, which have also drawn support from private foundations.
San Francisco cardiologist Randolph Byrd, for example, conducted an experiment in which he asked born-again Christians to pray for 192 people hospitalized for heart problems, comparing them with 201 not targeted for prayer. No one knew which group they were in. He reported in 1988 that those who were prayed for needed fewer drugs and less help breathing.
William S. Harris of St. Luke's Hospital in Kansas City, Mo., and colleagues published similar results in 1999 from a study involving nearly 1,000 heart patients, about half of whom were prayed for without their knowledge.
But these and other studies have been called deeply flawed. They were, for example, analyzed in the most favorable way possible, looking at so many outcomes that the positive findings could easily have been the result of chance, critics say.
"It's called the sharpshooter's fallacy," said Richard Sloan, a behavioral researcher at Columbia University. "The sharpshooter empties the gun into the side of a barn and then draws the bull's-eye. In science, you have to predict in advance what effect you may have."

Basically it boils down to if you believe it helps if not, well you are on your own,
IN THE WORST POSSIBLE SENSE.

Well I'm doing all those things and still hedging my bets with:
~

~coconut oil



I am very regular in my CellPower™ and
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
\*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."
~~~
"We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees," -- Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Half this game is ninety percent mental." -- Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark [Danny was never really good at the stats]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found."
~~~
After a year in therapy, my psychiatrist said to me: "Maybe life isn't for everyone." Larry Brown

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Is the key to the bathroom called a can opener?”

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Everything is funny," said Will Rogers, "as long as it is happening to someone else."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tug McGraw, former Philadelphia Phillies pitcher, was asked by his father, if he liked pitching on astroturf or grass better. His response was "I don't know, I've never smoked astroturf."

~~~
WORLD GONE CRAZY


"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named, "Bush", "Dick", and "Colon". Need I say more?"

~~~
Fools rush in where fools have been before.
-- Unknown

His lack of education is more than compensated
for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
-- Woody Allen

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood,
place it in the navel of a firefly and still have
room enough for three caraway seeds and a producer's
heart.
-- Fred Allen

Of all the preposterous assumptions of humanity
over humanity, nothing exceeds most of the
criticisms made on the habits of the poor by the
well-housed, well- warmed, and well-fed.
-- Herman Melville
~~~
Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see
them being made.
-- Otto von Bismarck

On the whole human beings want to be good, but
not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell

~~~
1. Never tell everything at once.
-- Ken Venturi, Ken Venturi's Two
Great Rules of Life

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis
and I don't deserve that either.
-- Jack Benny

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
-- Will Rogers

Science is facts; just as houses are made of
stones, so is science made of facts; but a pile of
stones is not a house and a collection of facts is
not necessarily science.
-- Henri Poincare
~~~
A witty young egghead sold his books when short of money. He then wrote to his father, "Congratulate me, father. I am already making money from my studies.”
~~~
Q. Do you know how the Roman Empire was cut in half?

A. With a pair of Caesars!

****************************************************************************************If I had any really funny, clean jokes I'd include them, I'm not holding out on you.
Today be someone else's Santa Claus. Bless like there's no tomorrow.

sources
(1)http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Shaw2.html
(2)http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/bb/neuro/neuro00/web1/Braswell.html
(3)http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/23/AR2006032302177_2

Also see:
www.vjcorganics.mionegroup.com.html

NEW DAY; COLD FREE? INSOMNIA

OK, I feel great today, but then I felt good yesterday until I spent a few hours working in the garage, after that I had a bit of coughing. I haven't run a fever in a few days, I'm just going to say it.... I'm well. Also, even tho' I had to be sick for over a week, still it's less than the three weeks others have been sick with this particular crud, nor have I been as sick as they claimed to have been. Also even with the occasional diet straying, I'm better in the Candidiasis reactions too. I don't get the allergic reactions I used to have...

I'm still taking my
,to help get rid of the candidiasis. This time I'm also regularly taking the ~coconut oil
which I feel is really keeping me on-track.


I am very regular in my CellPower™ doses and I know it's really making incremental changes in my health, I get better ten I sort of coast for a while then another boost of health. Actually, for me with all my weight loss programs and health regimen it's always been this way. Often I've given up and reverted; but now death is on the line, and while I'm not afraid to die, I am not quite ready to go yet.

I found a few strategies for cold fighting.
~first take no antibiotics, colds are caused by viruses and antibiotics only work on bacteria.
~take lots and lots of Vitamin C with rose hips
~IMPORTANT-get lots of sleep and drink CLEAN water
~DRESS WARM-Allow yourself to get excessively warm and don't cool yourself off until the fever breaks.
And here is something I thought I'd never say
~take a mild cold remedy rather than go without sleep.

I hate drugs but sometimes a mild nsaid just does have its place. Sleep is essential for healing and the times I've stayed loyal to my principals and maintained a sleepless misery; I've had illness that lasted for months at a time.
I suffer from insomnia that worsens from any impetus. I know for me it has become psychosomatic but I lack the funds to investigate the causes and eliminate it. I did have a cure but it can no longer be implemented due to outside factors.

Part of my problem is that I can really only sleep on my stomach but since I was attacked and beaten my spine can no longer tolerate that position and I must sleep on my back, my least comfortable position.

Ok enough of that, I'm not asking for sympathy, nor garnering any pity, It's a fact I must deal with and leaving out this information leaves gaps in my testimony on my regaining my health. In fact insomnia is possibly the most salient factor in my bid and efforts to get well. Insomnia has its roots in my life as a reaction to anxiety that I no longer even have in my life.

So today I'm going to explore insomnia:

(1)

What is insomnia?
Insomnia is too little or poor-quality sleep caused by one or more of the following:

Trouble falling asleep
Waking up a lot during the night with trouble returning to sleep
Waking up too early in the morning
Having un-refreshing sleep (not feeling well rested), even after sleeping 7 to 8 hours at night
Insomnia can cause problems during the day, such as excessive sleepiness, fatigue, trouble thinking clearly or staying focused, or feeling depressed or irritable. It is not defined by the number of hours you sleep every night. Although the amount of sleep a person needs varies, most people need between 7 and 8 hours of sleep a night.

What are the different types of insomnia and what causes them?
Insomnia can be:

Transient (short term) insomnia lasts from a single night to a few weeks.
Intermittent (on and off) insomnia is short term, which happens from time to time.
Chronic (on-going) insomnia occurs at least 3 nights a week over a month or more.
Chronic insomnia is either primary or secondary:

Primary insomnia is not related to any other health problem.
Secondary insomnia can be caused by a medical condition (such as cancer, asthma, or arthritis), drugs, stress or a mental health problem (such as depression), or a poor sleep environment (such as too much light or noise, or a bed partner who snores).
Do women suffer from insomnia more than men?
Women are twice as likely to suffer from insomnia than men. Some research suggests that certain social factors, such as being unemployed or divorced, are related to poor sleep and increase the risk of insomnia in women. Also, insomnia tends to increase with age.

Sometimes perimenopausal (the time leading up to menopause) women have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep; hot flashes and night sweats often can disturb sleep. Pregnancy also can affect how well a woman sleeps.

(2)

The effects of insomnia can include such things as:

· Personality changes. The effects of insomnia tend to be most noticeable in personality. Those who are suffering from the effects of insomnia will find they are more irritable and quicker to snap than those who enjoy a good night's sleep on a regular basis. The severity of the personality changes that can result as the effects of insomnia will depend on the person, the length of time sleep has been disrupted and the outside factors that can add to irritability. When these changes are severe enough jobs, personal relationships and more can all be impacted.

· Performance issues. Anyone suffering from the effects of insomnia will find doing even the most basic of everyday things can be a little more difficult. From writing out checks to performing simple tasks at work, the effects of insomnia really show up here. The more severe the effects of insomnia are, the worse this performance issue can become.

· Psychological. Beyond normal personality changes, those who suffer from the effects of insomnia are more likely to suffer from psychological issues. Things such as depression are more likely when insomnia is present. Insomnia can also be a symptom of some of these conditions. Medical help here is almost always advised.

· Safety. The effects of insomnia can impact a person's overall safety. When heavy machinery needs to be used or vehicles have to be driven, the impacts will likely become obvious. The impacts can be bad enough in some cases that fatal accidents can happen.

· Health. The effects of insomnia can also impact overall health. Those who do not get enough sleep are more prone to illness and infection. Correcting insomnia can help prevent illness.

When the effects of insomnia take hold, a person's entire life can change for the worse. Finding what is causing the insomnia and dealing with it can help life return to normal. It might take a little time to get to the root cause, but doing so can be vital for a whole lot of reasons.

Insomnia can be exacerbated by sleep apnea, narcolepsy, restless leg syndrome and jet lag. Some strategies for getting a good night's sleep.

~use your bed for sleep only, no work related activities, and make your room into a restful retreat.

~block out all light, extraneous light messes with your normal circadian rhythms, e have a built in sleep/wake interval hard-wired into our psyches.

~use regular bedtimes and rising times. Our bodies function best on a schedule. We can program in the times to sleep and wake.

~exercising a few hours before bed can eliminate the restless leg syndrome and give the body the natural endorrphan rush to help it relax.

~A hot bath can help one relax enough to sleep; especially nice after exercising.

~do not eat or drink right before bedtime, unless it's very light to ease any severe hunger, you don't want to have to get up to go to the bathroom.

~stay away from prescription meds they only cover up the problem. Tryptophan and to a lesser extent Metatonin can help with the kind of insomnia that that makes it hard to sleep initially, but not so much the fall-asleep-but-wake-up-later-and-can't-sleep type.

~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing.

~If you must take a potty break, do not turn on a lot of lights or speak, a kind of awake sleep walking can be maintained to aid in return to sleep.

~use white noise to cover any outside noise disturbances. I used to play a favorite CD on repeat that had quiet pleasing music, but my husband has asked me to stop it.

~get a really comfortable [to you] mattress. I checked out mattresses and most felt like sleeping on a slab of marble. Those were listed as 'healthier' ones. I like my mattress to be much much softer, wear comfy loose clothing, keeping a good temperature for you is helpful; my husband likes it very warm I wish it could be cooler, guess who won that one? neither of us sleeps with a blanket on. Funny, I used to like a blanket on for secuirty [you remember the alligator under the bed?]no matter how hot it was; now I prefer to sleep curled up, no parts over the edge of the bed[of course] and no blanket.

So that's my list, if anyone has any other suggestions, I'd love to hear about them.

Here's the list of supplements I am takingCellPower™ to bring me back to health.
And FLAX SEED OIL for my colon of course
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.

*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
The most radical revolutionary will become a conservative the day after the revolution.
Hannah Arendt

The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
Mark Twain

~~~
As I grow in age, I value women over 40 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:

A woman over 40 will never wake you in the middle of the night and ask, "What are you thinking?" She doesn't care what you think.

If a woman over 40 doesn't want to watch the game, she doesn't sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do, and it's usually more interesting.

Women over 40 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you over the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won't hesitate to shoot you if they think they can get away with it.

Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it's like to be unappreciated.

Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 40.

Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 40 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.

Older women are forthright and honest. They'll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one. You don't ever have to wonder where you stand with her.

Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize.

For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!

~~~
It is even harder for the average ape to believe
that he has descended from man.
-- H. L. Mencken

To disagree with three-fourths of the British
public is one of the first requisites of sanity.
-- Oscar Wilde

Those who speak most of progress measure it by
quantity and not by quality.
-- George Santayana

All the President is, is a glorified public
relations man who spends his time flattering, kissing
and kicking people to get them to do what they
are supposed to do anyway.
-- Harry S Truman

~~~
Important news;



The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "Governmentium."

Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called 'morons' which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons.' Since Gv has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second!

Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of moron promotion leads most scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as 'Critical Morass.'

When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an element which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

~~~
Thanksgiving Divorce

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,"I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

"Pop, what are you talking about?" the son screams. We can't stand the sight of each other any longer," the father says. "We're sick of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her."

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. "Like heck they're getting divorced," she shouts, "I'll take care of this,"

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, "You are NOT getting divorced. Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back, and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. "Okay," he says, "they're coming for Thanksgiv ing and paying their own way."
~~~
Hello seeker! Now don't feel alone here in the
New Age, because there's a seeker born every
minute.
-- Firesign Theatre

Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number
of things, in order to avoid the calamity of
being ignorant of everything.
-- Sydney Smith

Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see
them being made.
-- Otto von Bismarck

On the whole human beings want to be good, but
not too good, and not quite all the time.
-- George Orwell

Have a glorious day of inspiration and peace.

SOURCES
(1)http://www.4women.gov/faq/insomnia.htm
(2)http://ezinearticles.com/?The-Effects-Of-Insomnia-Can-Be-Crippling&id=582812

5 Steps To Perfect Health

5 Steps To Perfect Health
By: Anna CooganSource: http://www.independent.ieNovember 24, 2007


How healthy are you? According to TV nutritionist Patrick Holford, probably not very. But there is hope for us all yet with this simple guide

‘I'd describe 100pc health as waking up full of energy, with a sharp mind, great mood, no aches and pains, no digestive problems, no weight problems and nothing that would indicate a risk of disease – in other words, perfect blood pressure and cholesterol," says TV nutritionist Patrick Holford, who is currently touring Ireland with the aim of getting us in shape.

“So far, over 5,000 Irish people have completed my questionnaire on diet and lifestyle and the nation's health is not looking good,” he says.

“In my questionnaire, participants are asked about diet, sleep patterns, general health, and allergy symptoms. The average score is around 40pc,” says the founder of The Institute for Optimum Nutrition in London.

“I believe that by following my five steps to better health, people can increase their score in less than three months.

“Celebrity Big Brother contestant Danielle Lloyd is a case in point. The 23-year-old scored 37pc on the test with low energy, bloating and stomach pains, irregular periods and weight gain as her health issues.

“However, she followed my five steps for six weeks and her health score more than doubled to 76pc.

“If you optimise your nutrition and possibly take supplements along with an improved diet, then most people can achieve a score of 80pc or more,” he says.

Holford believes there are five key processes in our bodies – and keeping these in tune are the five golden secrets of

having 100pc health.

1. Balance Your Blood Sugar

Holford says: “It's not fat that is causing the epidemic of weight gain, diabetes and heart disease, it's sugar and refined or processed carbohydrates.

“When you eat too much sugar and refined carbohydrates, you get a quick burst of energy followed by a lull.

“And when your blood sugar is too high you convert the excess to fat. You not only need to eat fewer carbohydrates, but also the right kinds.

“But now there's an exciting new science called glyconutrition, which recognizes that the body needs several different kinds of sugars to make a variety of glycoproteins. An example is glucosamine, which keeps your joints healthy.

“Another example is beta-glucans, carbohydrates that can be found in foods, such as mushrooms, oats, barley, and yeast. These clever sugars help control diabetes, promote weight loss and lower cholesterol.”

Holford's bestselling Low GL Diet is based on these food principles.

2. Eat Fats that Heal, Not Fats that Kill

‘Fat isn’t just the stuff we store too much of. There are intelligent fats too, the omega 3 and 6 fats that control everything from our mood to our risk of heart disease.

“For example, omega 3 fats will do more to reverse arthritis than any pain-killer drug, while six out of eight trials show they are highly effective as anti-depressants.

“The UK's National Institute of Clinical Excellence recommends that all doctors prescribe one gram of fish oil to patients who have had a heart attack. The trouble is, most of us don't eat nearly enough omega 3 and 6 fats.

“I have oily fish three times a day and also have a tablespoon of ground seeds such as flax and pumpkin seeds. And I also take both omega 3 and omega 6 supplements every day too.

“The worst fats are from deep-fried and processed foods high in hydrogenated fats. They make brain membranes thicker and less flexible. They make people thicker too.”

3. Bump up Your B's

‘Alzheimer's is a preventable disease, but the older you are the more B vitamins you need to keep your mind sharp. Many people over the age of 60 need 100 times the basic RDA to keep their memory sharp and protect their brain. B vitamin supplements are essential.

“A toxic substance in your blood, called homocysteine, will predict your risk for heart disease and stroke better than cholesterol, plus your risk of losing your memory. If you have enough B vitamins your homocysteine level is low. If you don't have enough, it goes high.

“Women with high homocysteine levels have 20 times the risk of pregnancy complications or of children born with birth defects.

“There is also a process called methylation that happens a billion times every few seconds in your body and brain. It keeps everything in balance and makes you feel ‘connected' and it depends on B vitamins, especially B6, B12 and folic acid.

“I believe eating wholefoods, fruit and vegetables, and staying away from white, refined foods is essential. I also supplement B vitamins every day, taking BioCare's Optimum Nutrition Pack containing an antioxidant multivitamin, extra vitamin C and essential fats.”

4. Antioxidants Are a Girl's Best Friend

‘The secret to staying young is to up your intake of antioxidants. These are nature's anti-ageing nutrients, high in fruit and vegetables, but highest in berries and dark green vegetables such as kale, spinach and broccoli. Red wine and red grapes contain one of the most potent antioxidants of all, called resveratrol.

“I always advocate eating a multi-coloured diet, with something green, something orange such as carrots, something blue/red such as berries, and something yellow every day – and the odd glass of red wine. The yellow spice turmeric, and also mustard are potent anti-inflammatories.”

5. Water – the Body's Most Essential Nutrient

‘Water is freely available but most people just don't drink enough. You literally need at least eight glasses of water a day. Your brain and body is two thirds water. If you only drink when you’re thirsty, your body is already dehydrated.

Not drinking enough makes you tired and dries out your skin and your joints. It's a major cause of constipation. The long-term effects of not drinking enough are more serious – including kidney stones. Hunger is often confused for thirst, so when you're hungry drink a glass a water. Dehydration also causes a loss of concentration. Drinking water needs to become a habit if you want 100pc health.”

#

Link to original story here.


As for me I'm getting my help from :

,to help get rid of the candidiasis

Also CellPower™ another fungus killer,
And FLAX SEED OIL for my colon of course
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil a great fungus killer too

Which incidentally is another energy booster aids in weight loss.

*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
I hate the outdoors. To me the outdoors is where
the car is.
-- Will Durst

We are inclined to believe those whom we do not
know because they have never deceived us.
-- Samuel Johnson

All that is human must retrograde if it does not
advance.
-- Edward Gibbon

Whenever I dwell for any length of time on my own
shortcomings, they gradually begin to seem mild,
harmless, rather engaging little things, not at
all like the staring defects in other people's
characters.
---Margaret Halsey
~~
To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1,
> actress/vocalist,
> Julie Andrews made a special appearance at
> Manhattan's Radio City
> Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the
> musical numbers
> she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the
> legendary movie
> 'Sound Of Music.'
> Here are the actual lyrics she used:

>
>
>
> Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
> Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
> Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
> These are a few of my favorite things.
>
> Cadillac's and cataracts, and hearing aids and
> glasses,
> Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
> Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
> These are a few of my favorite things.
>
> When the pipes leak,
> When the bones creak,
> When the knees go bad,
> I simply remember my favorite things,
> And then I don't feel so bad.
> Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,
> No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
> Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,
> These are a few of my favorite things.
>
> Back pains, confused brains, and no need for
> sinnin',
> Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
> And we won't mention our short, shrunken frames,
> When we remember our favorite things.
>
> When the joints ache,
> When the hips break,
> When the eyes grow dim,
> Then I remember the great life I've had,
> And then I don't feel so bad.

~~computer hiaku~~~
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
~~~
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same
mistakes, only sooner.
-- Tallulah Bankhead

Sure there are dishonest men in local government.
But there are dishonest men in national
government too.
-- Richard M. Nixon

The past is not dead. In fact, it's not even
past.
-- William Faulkner

The man who writes about himself and his own time
is the only man who writes about all people and
all time.
-- George Bernard Shaw
~~~
Woman's Vocabulary

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means something,and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in FINE.

4.) GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) LOUD SIGH: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statementoften misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) THAT'S OK: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) THANKS: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) WHATEVER: Is a women's way of saying- well- you know!

9.) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT , I'LL GET IT: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong", for the woman's response refer to # 3.


:-D :-D :-D


I wish for you the best life has to offer and your own personal best, may you be blessed to overflowing.

A SERIOUS TREATISE ON HOW TO BE NOT SICK

Ok, so it’s not that serious but still. I woke up Saturday with a dry throat, no biggie, it’s nothing to worry about, I went about my normal routine, took my blood sugar, opened the drapes, talked to God, ate my apple for breakfast, worried just a little about that 6 pounds that have crept back since I started this diet. Before I got down to that weight years ago [you thought I was going to tell you how much I weigh, yeah, like That’s gonna happen] It was when I’d plateau-ed years before I got married, before I’d moved to Oregon from Seattle and WHY I’d joined a gym. The GYM? Yup that lasted until my guest cards ran out and reality set in; I had to go alone. Not only that but I was the fattest one there. Well maybe not the fattest but the combination of oldest/fattest/shortest. So, I did what any respectable middle-aged short fat woman would do, I quit going.

Ok that established, back to my cold. By mid-afternoon, my throat was definitely sore and snot was coming in 50 gallon drums. The weather has been cold and rainy, lovely. So, I’m sick and I have so much to do, it’s raining out and I still haven’t finished my fall garden work. I CAN’T BE SICK! I gotta do something. So, what did I do? Well er, nothing. I took my supplements like normal, ate my nearly no-carb diet and ignored the cold, like it’d just go away. I received an extra job, my bamboo arrived, I’d HAVE to take care of it Manana.

The next day I was really sick; head ballooned out with built up snot, ears, sinuses, nose, throat, cranium cavity-lots of extra space up there- and I had a headache, didn’t feel like eating so didn’t. Later we took a trip to our local and favorite pharmacy see: rite aid, to buy some of that occisillam or whatever it is, but the label assured me it cured all the wrong symptoms so I checked out the vi-????. It had stuff in it I can’t have so as I mentioned in another entry I tried the vitamin C cure. It had worked for me before but this time in my arrogance I decided to wait a day. Well after the vitamin C had its way with my innards, oh let’s just say there was some pain and throne sitting involved, I felt a bit better. This whole time I’ve been wearing my warmies, now there is absolutely nothing in this world I hate more than sweating and OH LUCKY ME, I’ve been hot flashing back-to-back for 24 years.

I was still coughing and I had trouble getting any sleep and the snot was still very much in evidence, and my throat was dry; our weather was wet but it was so dry inside, I started keeping a thermos of iced water close. I was cooking with sweated [that means very, very gently cooked], onions and garlics, lots and lots of them and I’ve been drinking green tea, with lemon and honey. All of the aforementioned things are antibacterial. I also taking a handful of vitamin C each day, and was gargling with my normal dosage of CellPower™ I take three times a day so my throat was ever so much better, no soreness, and with the use of boiling water on our stove, the dryness was not so pronounced either.

Yesterday, Tuesday, it was raining, I woke up feeling punk, no energy, too tired to move around but too rested to sleep, I couldn’t do anything, so I didn’t.

Today is Wednesday, I woke up feeling energetic, and not such a coldish-type o’ gal. I went out to the garage to get the load of bamboo I was given put up so we could park our car in there. What? You don’t park your car in your garage? Well we don’t either, but we’re suspecting that Thanksgiving would be a sneaky time to dump a load of snow on us.

I just got a friend’s entire crop of Arundo Donax- not the highest quality bamboo but still- and it made a huge leafy pile in the center of my garage. I have to peel all the leaves off, Sort and top them. I got about half done, That was a full 5 hours of hard work in a cold wet garage, Did I mention our weather has been rainy for days? Well it has. After working until after dark I still felt pretty good; But then I’ve eaten the equivalent of 10,000 oranges, 60 lemons, 40 onions, 32 garlic bulbs about two gallons of CellPower™ water, sweated for three days like a Stevedore, and had a complete bowel cleanse. I should be feeling better. I’m sore from my muscles being worked in the cold and damp- It was raining- but I feel pretty good. Now if I could only tell if I am having a hot flash or if I am febrile [running a fever]. I don’t own a thermometer. My reasons for this are
several.

First, and apparently this salient point is oft overlooked, a thermometer is a DIAGNOSTIC tool, it is not in any way therapeutic, yet it’s the very first thing people reach for. Like checking the crankcase oil, when your tranny is out, GET REAL, no matter what your temperature is, if you feel sick you probably are. Taking the temperature tells you NOTHING. And it doesn’t help.

Here’s a little tidbit, 98.6 is an average, we are all different, my NORMAL temperature is between 99-100. Does it help me to know if my current temp is 99 or 99.5? My hand is up, I’ll answer that one, NO!

If I am warm to the touch I’m running a fever, if not I probably am not running one. If I am running a fever it tells us what? That I am sick, Maybe. Or that I’ve been exercising-fat chance on that, or my clothing is too warm for the weather, probably not. So, we’ve established sickness.

I also have a theory I explained to the dentist who pulled my tooth. I said I do not believe in Pain, I use no pain, NO PAIN as my motto, I believe that pain is counter therapeutic, and my goal is to get well. He looked at me like I was serious, first time THAT has ever happened, well when you are only two inches taller than a certified elf -altho’ it might be nice to be certified- no one takes one seriously and he respected my wishes, he caused me no pain and hustled me out with a prescription for some pain reliever I threw away. I never did hurt from it, it healed nicely and I was back to work that afternoon.

Oh and that 6 pounds I was worrying about, I lost it somewhere, not that I’m looking for it, but for a little minute I considered its possible location, then I remembered. And I’m not wanting to find it neither!

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, my husband was worried I wouldn’t get out turkey thawed in time, so he bought two frozen one and what the store cutely calls a ‘fresh’ one. Now what it really means is that it WAS frozen but they thawed it out maybe two weeks ago and it’s been sitting in the meat case for that fortnight with a label of *FRESH* on it. Steve and I have been married for nearly 8 years and I’ve yet to serve him a frozen turkey, but this year he was worried, so we now have a plethora of fowl.

I'm still taking
,to help get rid of the candidiasis.

Also CellPower™ another antibiotic,
And FLAX SEED OIL
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil a great fungus killer too

Which incidentally is another fungi-cide and energy booster.

*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~

You will find that the State is the kind of
organization which, though it does big things badly,
does small things badly, too.
-- John Kenneth Galbraith

The best way to predict the future is to invent
it.
-- Alan Kay

To predict the behavior of ordinary people in
advance, you only have to assume that they will
always try to escape a disagreeable situation with
the smallest possible expenditure of intelligence.
-- Friedrich Nietzsche

If men could only know each other, they would
neither idolize nor hate.
-- Elbert Hubbard

~~~
Martha Stewart will not be dining with us this Thanksgiving. I'm telling
you in advance, so don't act surprised. Since Ms. Stewart won't be coming,
I've made a few small changes: Our sidewalk will not be lined with
homemade, paper bag luminaries. After a trial run, it was decided that no
matter how cleverly done, rows of flaming lunch sacks do not have the
desired welcoming effect.

Once inside, our guests will note that the entry hall is not decorated
with the swags of Indian corn and fall foliage I had planned to make.
Instead, I've gotten the kids involved in the decorating by having them
track in colorful autumn leaves from the front yard. The mud was their
idea.

The dining table will not be covered with expensive linens, fancy china,
or crystal goblets. If possible, we will use dishes that match and
everyone will get a fork. Since this IS Thanksgiving, we will refrain from
using the plastic Peter Rabbit plate and the Santa napkins from last
Christmas. Our centerpiece will not be the tower of fresh fruit and
flowers that I promised. Instead we will be displaying a hedgehog-like
decoration handcrafted from the finest construction
paper. The artist assures me it is a turkey.

We will be dining fashionably late. The children will entertain you while
you wait. I'm sure they will be happy to share every choice comment I have
made regarding Thanksgiving, pilgrims and the turkey hotline. Please
remember that most of these comments were made at 5:00 a.m. upon
discovering that the turkey was still hard enough to cut diamonds.

As accompaniment to the children's recital, I will play a recording of
tribal drumming. If the children should mention that I don't own a
recording of tribal drumming, or that tribal drumming sounds suspiciously
like a frozen turkey in a clothes dryer, ignore them. They are lying.

We toyed with the idea of ringing a dainty silver bell to announce the
start of our feast. In the end, we chose to keep our traditional method.
We've also decided against a formal seating arrangement. When the smoke
alarm sounds, please gather around the table and sit where you like. In
the spirit of harmony, we will ask the children to sit at a separate
table. In a separate room. Next door.

Now, I know you have all seen pictures of one person carving a turkey in
front of a crowd of appreciative onlookers. This will not be happening at
our dinner. For safety reasons, the turkey will be carved in a private
ceremony. I stress "private" meaning: Do not, under any circumstances,
enter the kitchen to laugh at me. Do not send small, unsuspecting children
to check on my progress. I have an electric knife. The turkey is unarmed.
It stands to reason that I will eventually win. When I do, we will eat. I
would like to take this opportunity to remind my young diners that
"passing the rolls" is not a football play. Nor is it a request to bean
your sister in the head with warm tasty bread. Oh, and one reminder for
the adults: For the
duration of the meal, and especially while in the presence of young
diners, we will refer to the giblet gravy by its lesser known name:
Cheese Sauce. If a young diner questions you regarding the origins or type
of Cheese Sauce, plead ignorance. Cheese Sauce stains.

I forget, there is one last change. Instead of offering a choice between
12 different scrumptious desserts, we will be serving the traditional
pumpkin pie, garnished with whipped cream and small fingerprints. You will
still have a choice; take it or leave it. Martha Stewart will not be
dining with us this Thanksgiving. She probably won't come next year either. I am thankful.
~~~
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
'Mom', he asked, 'Are these my brains?'
'Not yet,' she replied


~~~
Happy Thanksgiving or whatever Harvest festival you are celebrating to all world wide. May your plates never be empty and your hearts always be full

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to an
afternoon high near F 190. The kitchen will turn hot and humid, and if
you bother the cook, be ready for a severe squall or cold shoulder.
During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a knife will
slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation of one to two inches
on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift across one side while cranberry
sauce creates slippery spots on the other. Please pass the gravy. A
weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for the entire
area, with increased stuffiness around the beltway. During the
evening, the turkey will diminish and taper off to leftovers, dropping
to a low of 34F in the refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat sandwiches
will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be expected both days
with a 50 percent chance of scattered soup late in the day. We expect
a warming trend where soup develops. By early next week, eating
pressure will be low as the only wish left will be the bone.

Wishing everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving.

~~~
Y'va-reh'ha Adonai v'uish-m'reha.
Ya-eyr Adonai panav eyle-ha vihu-neka.
Yoda Adonai panav eyle-ha v'ya-seym l'shalom
The L-rd Bless you and Keep you,
The L-rd make His face shine upon you.
The L-rd lift up his countenance upon you,
and give you peace

Be blessed this day as you consume your personal requisite 3,000 calories, enough to feed a whole vilage for a month in a Third World country. Remember to practice hospitality, even to your crazy Uncle who tells all the dirty jokes and your Aunt Helen who giggles and jiggles. Enjoy and repent the next day.

:)

"cold" myths and a few other bits

OK, maybe since I didn't take the mass dose of Vitamin C at the FIRST SIGN of the 'cold', anyway I'm still pretty sick, but that's OK, the Vitamin C will no doubt keep me from being sick for several weeks like friends of mine did I caught it from, in the meantime, I am giving you some popular myths to occupy your minds.

(1)

Myths and old wives' tales about how to cure the common cold They have been around for years and chances are, you have probably experimented with (and maybe even believed) one or two of them. Here are some myths and the truths behind them!
~Antibiotics are the only way to cure the common cold.
Many people turn to antibiotics, when in fact, antibiotics do not help a cold. This is because antibiotics treat bacterial infections while colds are caused by viruses. What's more, overuse of antibiotics has led to increasingly resistant bacteria, which means when you really do have a bacterial infection, antibiotics may not be able to treat it.
~Cold weather causes the common cold.
Cold weather has never been linked as the cause of a cold. Some theories suggest that the increase of the occurrence of the common cold during colder months is because more people gather indoors with little circulation where the viruses are more likely to spread.
~Eating chicken soup is a popular way to cure the common cold.
While eating a bowl of chicken soup certainly does feel soothing on a dry, scratchy throat, it has no special powers to cure a cold. However, chicken is a good source of protein, and the broth contains electrolytes, that will help you stay well nourished so that you have enough energy to fight off your cold.

Hey I disagree with this one, eating nice hot soup will help you break up the congestion in your lungs so you can cough it up, Whoa there pardner, coughing is a good thing, leaving the infection in the lungs is the BAD THING.

ALSO, eating hot soup helps raise your body temperature, WHOA AGAIN, STAY AWAY FROM THE ASPIRINS, YOU WANT THE HEAT, germs thrive at 98.6 degrees fareinheit, so the body wants to get hot to kill it off, so stay warm! Over 104 you can have brain damage but you will probably not get that hot. If you do, use a cold compress on the neck or forehead.

~Drinking milk causes increased nasal mucous during a cold.
Milk and mucous may look slightly similar but there is no evidence that drinking milk will increase the amount of mucous.
~Starve a cold.
Cold sufferers should NOT starve a cold - in fact, that could only make it worse. You should eat a healthy, well-balanced diet so as to stay well nourished to effectively fight a cold!
~Only people with a weak immune system can catch a cold.
Anyone can catch a cold once they have been exposed to the virus. In fact, nearly 95 percent of adults with healthy immune systems have caught a cold when exposed to the virus.

OK, here's some news on the adeno-virus and why it can attack healthy people. Of which I am one, hey, I thought I was right back where I was, sickly and catching everything that went down the pike, but not true a young healthy woman, member of the Armed forces died of it. Shades of the 1918 Spanish flu epidemic more later...
(2)

Virulent form of cold virus spreads in U.S.
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A new and virulent strain of adenovirus, which frequently causes the common cold, has spread in parts of the United States, killing 10 people and putting dozens into hospitals, U.S. health officials said on Thursday.
A U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report detailed cases of people ill since May 2006 with a strain of the virus called adenovirus 14 in New York, Oregon, Washington state and Texas.
"Whether you're a healthy young adult, an infant or an elderly person, this virus can cause severe respiratory disease at any age," said John Su, who investigates infectious diseases for the CDC and contributed to the report.
Two of the 10 people who have died from the new strain were infants, Su said. The CDC report said about 140 people have been sickened by the virus and more than 50 hospitalized, including 24 admitted to intensive care units.
Adenoviruses frequently cause acute upper respiratory tract infections like the common cold, but also can cause other illnesses including inflammation of the stomach and intestines, pink eye, bladder infection and rashes.
Colds caused by adenoviruses can be very severe in the very young and the very old as well as in certain other people, like those with compromised immune systems.
"For most everybody else, it causes a mild illnesses, you get over it, life goes on," Su said in a telephone interview.
"What makes this particular adenovirus a little different is that it has the capability of making healthy young adults severely ill. And that's unusual for an adenovirus, and that's why it's got our attention," Su added.

As promised a few words on the 1918 Spanish Flu Pandemic
(3)

We are all familiar with the tell-tale signs of the flu: sneezing, coughing, aching, and overall physical weakness. In fact, this is probably no different from what our American ancestors encountered before World War I. However, all this changed in 1918, when a particularly virulent form of influenza - the so-called Spanish Flu - appeared, causing more deaths (over 50 million) than had resulted from the entire First World War which lasted four years.
Spanish Flu victims suffered massive pneumonia and fatal pulmonary complications: they literally drowned in their own body fluids. Lungs filled with fluid and their skin became markedly discolored from the lack of oxygen. Mysteriously, it killed more young than old. The death rate was greatest among ages 15 to 40.
Navy medical professionals were among those who were overwhelmed trying to fight this virus. Treatment was essentially non-existent. The US Navy was forced to rely on quarantine or infectious disease stations as brave doctors, hospital corpsmen, and nurses cared for the daily needs of the patients.
"The morgues were packed almost to the ceiling with bodies stacked one on top of another. The morticians worked day and night. You could never turn around without seeing a big red truck loaded with caskets for the train station so bodies could be sent home.
We didn’t have the time to treat them. We didn’t take temperatures; we didn’t even have time to take blood pressure.
We would give them a little hot whisky toddy; that’s about all we had time to do. They would have terrific nosebleeds with it. Sometimes the blood would just shoot across the room. You had to get out of the way or someone’s nose would bleed all over you."

Here is the advice given at that time.

For the protection of others, if you are really sick stay at home and remain there until the fever is over. A day in bed at the very beginning may also save you from serious consequences. . .
If you are up and about, protect healthy persons from infection—don’t spray others with the secretions from your nose and throat in coughing, sneezing, laughing, or talking. Cover your mouth with a handkerchief. Boil your handkerchiefs and other contaminated articles. Wash your hands frequently. Keep away from others as much as possible while you have a cough.

Sounds like good advice still to me.
~~~
Years ago when I was a young woman with a baby, my husband and I were traveling to San Diego where he was stationed. We ended up in Phoenix, Az on New Year's Eve. I was so sick, coughing and snotting-up-a-storm. My husband was suckling at the teat of the room's TV, which was his great love. I couldn't get any cold medicine because no stores were open anyway and back in those prehistoric days there was no otc pharma-selections anyway [early 1970's]. I was so dry and of course Phoenix was very dry anyway and at that time of year it was even dryer than usual. I sat in the bathroom trying to breathe with the hot water steaming up the room, but it made very little difference to my poor dried up lungs and nasal passages, they were raw! That night I curled up around the pillow [a flat rock I believe] and coughed all night long into that pillow. I've often thought of the poor person who was subsequently subjected to that fomite of deadly disease.

As a result I usually carry my own bedding, I'd rather use my nicely lufted pillows and fluffy comforters anyway, I worked briefly as a room maid, they do not routinely wash the bedspreads and on CSI I've seen what is left there.

Oh and in the "who do they think they are fooling" department, Ever wondered about those sweet little cloth masks surgeons wear covering those germ-laden holes in their faces. If a germ must be viewed only with a MICROSCOPE, how is it that they are stopped or in any way impeded by cloth you can SEE THROUGH!

Well Tha-a-a-at's all folks!

I'm still taking
,to help get rid of the candidiasis

Also CellPower™ another fungus killer,
And FLAX SEED OIL for my colon of course
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil a great fungus killer too

Which incidentally is another fungi-cide and energy booster.

*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
If you tell the truth you don't have to remember
anything.
-- Mark TwainThe future is here. It's just not widely distributed yet. -- William Gibson

After one look at this planet any visitor from
outer space would say "I want to see the manager."
-- William S. Burroughs

We are all apt to believe what the world believes
about us.
-- George Eliot
~~~
A Colorado friend told me a Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady.

He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steelchain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the groundrod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was called.
4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.
5. The wet ground would complete thecircuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning. Just thought you'd like to know !!!!
~~~
A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy:
"So I hear you're getting married?"
"Yep!"
"Do I know her?"
"Nope!"
"This woman, is she good looking?"
"Not really."
"Is she a good cook?"
"Naw, she can't cook too well."
"Does she have lots of money?"
"Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
"Well, then, is she good in bed?"
"I don't know."
"Why in the world do you want to marry her then?"
"Because she can still drive!"
~~~
THE GOOD HUSBAND

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass ofwater on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!!

Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.”

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
~~~
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

May the Lord of All bless you with blessings too many to contain, and then may we all go out and bless our neighbors!

SOURCES
(1)http://www.coldeeze.com/cold_flu/cold_treatments/myths.html
(2)http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1530262620071115?feedType=RSS&feedName=healthNews
(3)http://www.history.navy.mil/library/online/influenza_main.htm

KILLER COLDS

I gotta tell you I was completely blindsided. I went to a lovely senior dinner [nope, I'm not a senior yet but they gave me special dispensation-tee he]and I caught a cold. I haven't been sick since I started my diet back last January. I got to thinking I was bullet-proof. I'm here to tell you I haven't had any bullets but I have managed to catch a doozey of a cold. Everyone I talked to said this cold they had just lasted and lasted, they were just awfully sick and my husband mentioned a 'killer' cold* going around. Well no grass goes on me, I had taken a cold remedy years ago when someone told me to take 8000, [or was it 8,500? 85,000 mg of Vitamin C with milk] Even back then I wasn't really sure of the dosage so I took about , oh a million Vitamin tablets and a quart of milk. Within a very short time I had a terrific case of the trots culminating in----NO MORE COLD!!!

I looked it up on the net and found this cure:
(1)

Cold/Flu Cure #1: 8 g every 20 minutes

At first sign of cold or flu, begin taking at least 8 g (8000 mg) of vitamin C as ascorbic acid every twenty minutes for 3 to 4 hours until bowel tolerance, and then smaller dosages of 2-4 g every 4-6 hours for ten days to prevent recurrence.

The 'trick' is achieving almost I.V. blood serum levels by mouth as described in the Hickey/Roberts book ASCORBATE: The Science of Vitamin C. Begin protocol at the first sign of a runny nose, tickle in the throat, etc. If not caught at the beginning, the infection can't be stopped, but you may lessen its severity and duration.

OK, so I ran off to the drugstore and bought some Vitamin C WITH rose hips, that means the Bioflavonoids were part of it, Rutin, and Herperidins, This way the Vitamin C is complete. I immediately took 8 1000 mg tablets with 8oz. of milk, [the milk soften the blow of the ascorbic acid to the stomach. In 20 minutes I'll take 8 more. Then I will keep it up until I've had 80,000 or more milligrams, I'll keep you posted. Actually I started being sick yesterday but didn't remember this cure until I was so miserable today and since hearing about the new 'Killer' cold and I thought back to all the folks I'd prayed for who said they were sick for so long and felt so bad, I knew I had to do something. Oh and I'm dressed warmly and letting myself just get all sweaty from fever to kill off the germies too. I hate being hot so this will be the hard thing.

*(2)

Killer Cold Virus Appears in U.S.
10 Deaths From Outbreaks in 4 States as Ad14 Cold Virus Becomes More Common
By Daniel J. DeNoon
WebMD Medical NewsReviewed by Louise Chang, MDNov. 15, 2007 -- A virulent new form of an old cold virus is spreading in the U.S., causing severe pneumonia and death even in healthy adults.

The virus is adenovirus type 14 or Ad14. Since May 2006, when it killed a 12-day-old girl in New York City, there have been 10 deaths among 141 confirmed cases. Except for the infant girl, the cases came in outbreaks in Oregon, Washington, and Texas.

Different adenovirus strains have caused outbreaks in the past. But this seems to be a particularly "challenging" virus, says CDC epidemic intelligence officer John Su, MD, PhD.

"This particular [adenovirus] is unusual in that it can cause very severe illness in healthy young adults with no other medical condition. That is why this adenovirus stands out from the crowd," Su tells WebMD.

I WANT TO SAY RIGHT HERE I AM NOT ADVOCATING ANYTHING HERE, I'M JUST TELLING PEOPLE WHAT I DO. If you are sick; dial 911 and go see your medical professunul[sic]...blah,blah,blah.

Remember one thing, however your Medical professional will tell you that all colds will last 7-10 days at least. Also they have no helpful recourse for the 'Killer' cold. Well antibiotics..... Please refer to my previous blogs on those, [oy vey].

Also, I checked on those cold cures you see on TV the occo-something and Vi-something, I wasn't impressed with either, the occo-thingy is a homeopathic for symptomatic relief [HEY,I WANT MINE GONE, NOT ANOTHER COVER-UP, THANK YOU]

The Vi-thingy was a conglomeration of drugs [tylenol?] and oh yes! sugar, and it just promised to shorten the duration of the cold, Gee thanks.

So, we bought the vitamin C, and Whole milk, I'm taking my third round now.
Before going to the drugstore I was so tired /I could barely move, I'd had a rough night and was so tired I didn't make it to church today. I drank a big cup of green tea, added a tablespoon of honey and a generous squirt of lemon, and felt almost energetic. That really helped me to get my weary backside out the door to get to the store.

A few words about Vitamin C from the eminent Linus Pauling:
(3)

Vitamin C and the Common Cold
In 1970, Pauling announced in Vitamin C and the Common Cold that taking 1,000 mg of vitamin C daily will reduce the incidence of colds by 45% for most people but that some people need much larger amounts [1]. (The RDA for vitamin C is 60 mg.) The 1976 revision of the book, retitled Vitamin C, the Common Cold and the Flu, suggested even higher dosages [2]. A third book, Vitamin C and Cancer (1979) claims that high doses of vitamin C may be effective against cancer. Yet another book, How to Feel Better and Live Longer (1986), stated that megadoses of vitamins "can improve your general health . . . to increase your enjoyment of life and can help in controlling heart disease, cancer, and other diseases and in slowing down the process of aging." [3] Pauling himself reportedly took at least 12,000 mg daily and raised the amount to 40,000 mg if symptoms of a cold appear [4]. In 1993, after undergoing radiation therapy for prostate cancer, Pauling said that vitamin C had delayed the cancer's onset for twenty years. This was not a testable claim. He died of the disease in August 1994.

This is what is considered to be the "darkside" of his career and the man himself. Alternative medicine/healthy eating was also indicted when Adele Davis died. But everyone dies, I maintain that many people who are convinced that alternative medicine, and wholesome eating, is for them because of a failure of the medical community to help them and a revelation that our food supply is NOT healthy; and they probably lengthened their lives by quite a bit by switching to natural methods of living.

~~~digression~~~
To put things into proportion:
Adele Davis died at age 70, of bone cancer. There were some things she taught that are not accepted today, but there are many more that are.

See, the powers-that-be can take a natural substance like tryptophan off the market because one[1] source came from a foreign country that was suspect, the problem was later fixed, but the FDA maintained that it was still unsafe and banned it temporarily. Now Tryptophan really works it helps one sleep without side effects, but Ambien had a huge lobby in congress and got their competition banned. Paxil, Celebrex, HRT, Ambien, and Vioxx, are still being prescribed after dozens and in some cases 100's of people have been damaged or killed by them. I can't count the times I've heard a friend tell me that yes, they are still taking a drug listed as dangerous [pick one], "But my doctor said 'In your case this drug is necessary and the risks are very much overplayed in the media'." I've heard nearly the exact same words from many people. So, it's OK for a drug to kill but not to take a natural product that possibly a few people might have some adverse effects.

Did you know that PCP and LSD were both originally drugs listed as beneficial for medicine, PCP was "the peace pill", and LSD was to help alcoholics and mental patients. Both were touted by the FDA and the medical community as "safe".
~~~~end digression~~~

Back to the Vitamin C,
(4)

Vitamin C:
Do High Doses Prevent Colds?

Charles W. Marshall, Ph.D.
(Edited by Stephen Barrett, M.D)

Few things have stirred the imagination and hopes of the public in matters of nutrition or vexed nutrition scientists as much as Linus Pauling's 1970 book, Vitamin C and the Common Cold. [1] The book's main claim was that taking 1 gram (1,000 mg) of vitamin C daily would reduce the incidence of colds by 45% for most people, but that some persons might need much larger amounts. It recommended that if symptoms of a cold do start, you should take 500 or 1,000 mg every hour for several hours -- or 4 to 10 grams daily if symptoms don't disappear with smaller amounts. Without question, publication of this book, combined with Pauling's reputation as a Nobel Prize-winning scientist, has made vitamin C a best seller. When his theory was announced, millions of Americans rushed to try it for themselves. The second edition of the book, issued in 1976 as Vitamin C, the Common Cold and the Flu, suggested even higher dosages [2].

Vitamin C and the Common Cold also suggested that most people need a daily vitamin C intake of 2,300 mg or more for "optimum" health and to meet stresses, including infections. In a subsequent book, How to Live Longer and Feel Better, Pauling stated that individual biochemical variability is so great that optimum intake may may be as great as from 250 mg to 20 grams or more per day [3].

Many concerned persons have wondered whether Pauling's advice was prudent, and millions have experimented upon themselves to see whether they could tell. Pauling himself reportedly took 12,000 mg daily and raised it to 40,000 mg when symptoms of a cold appeared! [4] Pauling apparently adapted to such dosage, but most people would suffer chronic diarrhea and the risk of kidney stones. Also, the vast majority of reputable medical and nutritional scientists strongly disagree with him.

It's one of those things we have to decide for ourselves about. I do not like fruits and it's hard to eat it, but I do eat an apple a day and this is part of the reason I felt bullet-proof, but as LP said, if you are still getting colds, take more vitamin C.

OK, I've taken 60,000 milligrams, I stepped up the dosage a bit, I've never been noted for my patience. I do feel better, but that can be due to the fact that one always feels worse in the AM. I'm just not one for lying down and being miserable I'd prefer staying busy and not thinking about being sick. Sooooo, I'm going to get some housecleaning done, do some serioius sweating this crud right outta me and I'll let you all know tomorrow how well my cure does.

I'm still taking
,to help get rid of the candidiasis

Also CellPower™ another fungus killer,
And FLAX SEED OIL for my colon of course
~Glutathione-the master antioxidant is a great helper to counteract many diabetic complications.
~4 essential minerals for diabetics
~SELENIUMhelps immune system,fights infection and aids circulation
~MAGNESIUMhelps to relax you, aids stress and muscle relaxing
~CHROMIUMimproves insulin sensitivity, and helps lower blood sugar.
~ZINC especially to help you heal.
~coconut oil a great fungus killer too

Which incidentally is another fungi-cide and energy booster.

*************************************
Be sure to check out my new favorite interactive health message group healthwatch
Write to me at Webriter@verizon.net or use the comment or chat features. I do appreciate the feedback even if it’s negative, Christian Biblical stories
Natural herbal remedies
blessings

-----THE GARDEN GNOME



~~~Jokes and Inspiration~~~
Life is an unbroken succession of false
situations.
-- Thornton Wilder

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask
what's for lunch.
-- Orson Welles

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no
music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each
other.
-- Jack Handy

Elections are won by men and women chiefly
because most people vote against somebody rather than
for somebody.
-- Franklin P. Adams
~~~
Keith the farmer was in the fertilized egg business. He had several
hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and eight or ten roosters,
whose job was to fertilize the eggs.

The farmer kept records and any rooster that didn't perform went into the
soup pot and was replaced.

That took an awful lot of his time so he bought a set of tiny bells and
attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so Keith
could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit
on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the
bells.

The farmer's favorite rooster was old Butch, and a very fine specimen he
was, too. But on this particular morning Keith noticed old Butch's bell
hadn' t rung at all!

Keith went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets,
bells-a-ringing. The pullet, hearing the roosters coming , would run for
cover. But to Farmer Keith's amazement, Butch had his bell in his beak, so
it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the
next one. Keith was so proud of Butch, he entered him in the Boone County
Fair and Butch became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The Result:
The judges not only awarded Butch the 'No-Bell Piece Prize' but they also
awarded him the 'Pulletsurprise' as well.
~~~

An elderly gentleman.. had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."
The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet.
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"

~~~

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really !? Like a new born baby!?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

~~~

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital.
After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
~~~

Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. "Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so's not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"

*********************************************************************************
Today when you think of something you want give something to someone else and Bless them first. I wish for all of you that you be in health and prosper as your soul prospers.

Check this out because there are several other 'cures'.
SOURCES
(1)http://www.vitamincfoundation.org/surefire.htm
(2)http://www.webmd.com/cold-and-flu/news/20071115/killer-cold-virus-ad14-appears-in-us?src=rss_facs
(3)http://adelledavis.org/adelledavis.htm
(4)http://www.quackwatch.org/01QuackeryRelatedTopics/DSH/colds.html